Union scanners to stop daytime drinking and lecture skiving

It’s the end of life as we know it


We need to focus on studying and not drinking apparently

Following the all-day drinking session that was St Paddy’s Day, Northumbria University has decided to crack down on poor lecture attendance by introducing smart-card scanners in both Habita and Reds Bar.

Beloved Habita </3

With lecture and seminar attendance at an all time low, the powers that be have decided tackle the problem with tough new rules governing our SU bars.

Anybody purchasing food or alcohol before 6pm during the week will now have to present their student card for scanning. The new card scanners will correspond with our timetables and anybody found bunking off will be refused service and asked to leave.

It’s just not fair

Any Northumbria student found to be buying food or alcohol for another who should be in a lecture will face similar disciplinary action under the new rules which will be enforced from today.

A note will also be made of the card number which will be sent to the relevant faculty and placed on record. The uni have put in place a three strike system; those found to be skipping lectures to enjoy a refreshing pint or discount burger will face a disciplinary with their head of school. Repeat offenders could face a fine or even expulsion.

Say goodbye to skipping lectures

The uni has told staff that they must write to the parents and guardians of those who break the rules to shame them for slacking and skipping lectures. It’s hoped that pressure from families will encourage students to keep on the straight and narrow and focus on our studies.

Not only have the uni declared war on slackers, they’ve also introduced a new rule that only Northumbria students can enjoy the cheap prices on offer in the SU.

Any non-Northumbria found to be eating or drinking on the premises will be escorted off campus by security. The uni have pledged that those who flaunt the rules will be dealt with severely.

Check the date.