I really don’t give a toss about SU elections

And I don’t know what any of you actually do

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Did you notice that campus was considerably busier last week?

Notice that everyone is now a wannabe promoter throwing five leaflets at you and asking you to check them out? Was at least one person dressed like an absolute fuckwit and bribing you with food?

It’s been that very important and prestigious time of year when we take our responsibilities as students seriously and vote in the Student Union elections.

Or rather, that one fucking annoying week in March where that really weird 1 per cent of students decide they want to make a huge difference to the Uni.

I’ve been here for nearly three years and I can hand on heart say I have absolutely no idea what any student representative has ever done.

Nice flag. Now what is a ‘Comms’ officer exactly?

You’re running for Student Welfare Officer? What will you actually be doing?

Where’s the free printing? None of you have helped us get a bigger student loan and not one single person who has ran for any position, in all of the time I’ve been here, has improved the feedback on my work or gotten it to me more quickly.

You couldn’t even keep our interest with puppies

We all know you’re just plastering all of your annoying slogans across Uni so you have a stellar CV when you graduate. It’s a formidable effort but do any of us actually know what any of these positions are before you beg us to keep you there?

Not to suggest I was bothered or clued up before third year, but if I’m leaving in two months I cannot stress how little I care of what changes you plan to make next year.

It’s the thought that counts anyway

What’s more, is that they approach you like you’re best buddies, but when they come to “power” they’ll not respond to your emails. Poor communication can’t lead to proper representation.

I don’t know what a ‘Lay Councillor’ is. I don’t know what the President of Communications is going to do come September 2015. When I lived at home and then privately in the first two years of Uni I had no idea what my rep was called, let alone what they were supposed to be doing for me.

Get out of my lectures and let me take cash out in peace. I don’t care and I suspect the majority of students don’t either.