Your cheeky Nando’s selfies aren’t cheeky at all

Stop sending me chick pics

It’s cringy more than anything else.

It’s practically guaranteed that if you go to Nando’s you’ll see someone take a photo of their food to share with the world.

Hate to break it to you though; nobody actually cares what your half medium chicken with Peri-chips and salad and free nuts looks like.

Only hurts the first time

Only hurts the first time

Picture it – customer’s food arrives at their table and the first thing they do is whip out their phones and try to take the most artistic and attractive snap* of it.

*Note: this normally takes two or three attempts to get a shot that could make people jealous.

12 steps to having the cheekiest Nando’s experience of your life

1. Walk in. Ask for a booth

2. No need to look at a menu, you always get the same

3. Forget your table number

4. Place your order. Don’t forget to ask for halloumi

5. Ask for tap water. Use the soft drinks anyway

6. Pre-cheeky Nando’s warm-up. Flick through Instagram/Snapchat

7. Food arrives. Phone swiftly comes back out of pocket

8. Take photos for a minimum of five minutes. Don’t forget to filter/hashtag

9. Post on Instagram and Snapchat

10. Mid-meal check of Instagram/Snapchat to see if anyone’s seen it yet

11. You’re struggling. Place napkin over plate so no one can see you’ve failed

12. One final Snapchat of your plate with the hashtag #defeated

And Snapchatting your super interesting meal doesn’t make you any better.

Nothing cheeky at all about that

Nothing cheeky at all about that

And by the time you’ve filtered, brightened, sharpened and hash-tagged it, the entire meal’s gone cold.

Now you might be wondering, what these people look like. If they’re a guy then they’re most likely wearing a skinny trackies, a Vivienne Westwood basic tee, and a snap-back sat two inches above than their head.

For the girls it’s a bit more casual. Usually jeggings and a crop-top makes the cut, but those long stick-on nails make it all the more hard to keep hold of your phone above a plate while taking a quick pic.

But it’s not just limited to them. “Cheeky Nando’s” is popping up all over the place.

Even Google's at it

Even Google’s at it

More than anywhere you’ll see them pop up on Instagram. Here these avid food-photographers can use popular hashtags like #foodporn, #getinmybelly and #defeated.

The cheeky selfies don’t just start inside Nando’s too. We’ll be well informed you’re having one long before you get there.

Sounds really cheeky

Sounds really cheeky

Accept it – nobody cares what your food looks like. Stop sending us photos of it.

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