Hooters sets its sights on Newcastle

Legendary tits, beer and chicken wings franchise ‘Hooters’ has set its sights on the party capital of the UK.

The sports bar chain has applied to buy out Aura (used to be a furniture shop, appaz) and to stay open til 1.30am Monday to Saturday.

Hooters Newcastle will be only the second venue of its kind in the UK, with the first bar opening in Nottingham in 2008.

Probably not the actual uniform

But there’s a clear section on the Hooter’s website stating that not just any old trollop can pull a pint in a very small white top. Oh no, the Hooters girls have to be so much more than a pair of tits and a pretty face.

The scantily clad lasses will “provide energy, charisma and engaging conversation that keeps guests coming back.” So if you imply that anyone would ever think a bar called HOOTERS was good for anything other than a good old chin wag you’re a bad person with bad thoughts.

Far to be criticized for only hiring staff based on their looks and chest size, the franchise website goes on to console any worrying mothers that their Newcastle daughters have the potential to join:

“More than 300,000 Hooters alumnae who have grown into their own lives as mothers, wives, career-minded businesswomen and entrepreneurs, many becoming doctors, lawyers, authors, government officials and community leaders.”

You read that right. Hooters alumnae.

Think this type of party trick

Arguably, one TripAdvisor reviewer summed up the whole Hooters experience in one sentence, epitomizing what Newcastle can look forward to: “Don’t go expecting a candlelit dinner, go for what you know it’s for.”

But all cynicism aside, the brand is undisputably known for having some of the friendliest staff known to man, making every experience a pleasant one. We’re some of the friendliest people in the world down the Toon (statistics speak for themselves, people) and now we’re getting our boobs out while giving you beer.

Note: knees are not really boobs.

World, you are welcome