What TikTok sound are you based on your Newcastle halls?

Online uni means one thing, and one thing only – spending all of your time scrolling relentlessly through TikTok. You’ve probably noticed there’s a TikTok sound for everything and Newcastle uni halls are no exception, but unfortunately, we can guarantee that “so nice, such a bargain and proper nice as well” is not one of them.

St Mary’s – “OK.. no offence.. but you are really povo”

GBNF – yes, it might have been a bargain but that was not worth the disgusted reactions when anyone asked what accommodation you were in. The response was most definitely along these lines and the dingy shared bathrooms and box rooms paired with the fact that you had to get a bus to uni certainly did you no favours.

Castle Leazes – “Unknown T, Homerton B”

Need I actually explain myself? This ‘posh’ remix just radiates gap yahs, rollies and North Face puffer jackets. The complete and total rah energy makes the perfect soundtrack to any Leazes resident’s life.

Bowsden Court – “I’m in the ghetto”

I am yet to have the misfortune of having to venture to Bowsden, but I can only imagine this is exactly what it would feel like. According to Uni, it is two miles from campus but you might as well be living in Narnia. An accommodation from which the only links to bars and restaurants is “via the Metro transport system” is one I want no part of. Not being able to stumble home across Leazes Park from the Cosy Dove with your flatmates or wander into town after pres without having to deal with public transportation? No, thank you.

Kensington Terrace/Marris House – “Whose horse is dat?”

Whose horse is dat? What is dat? Who is she?

Windsor Terrace – “Maybe if you had a business that you were passionate about, then you would know what it takes”

I can only imagine if you stay here you are a Law student with a serious superiority complex who spends most of their time in the Law library or the Robbo pretending to do work whilst maintaining your precedence, a little like Kim K.

Park View – “Are you not embarrazzzed? This is really embarrazzzing”

Arguably the Uni’s most sought after accommodation, Park View is known for its modern interior and “sick” pres. Just a stone’s throw away from campus and home to the iconic Park View girl, would you really want to spend your first year anywhere else? As you find yourself scurrying up Richardson Road trying to make your 9am having left home at least 30 minutes ago, you will find an onslaught of Park View residents, freshly awoken and perfectly primmed, with that look on their face – the one that says exactly what they are thinking.. are you not embarrazzzed? 

St James’ Point – “Let me add a little bit of spice to that”

Although not technically university-managed, this accommodation is well known for its popularity with international students, who definitely deserve an honourable mention for the spice that is served on the streets of Newcastle by its residents and their style that puts my basic flares and puffer to shame.

Whatever accommodation you end up at in Newcastle you can almost guarantee you will grow to love it, even if you have to share a bathroom, and if you don’t.. who cares? We will all end up in Jesmond anyway x

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