Your Newcastle uni experience as described by Christmas lyrics

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a North Face and a rollie x

It’s December, which means it’s finally acceptable to blast Christmas music loud enough for the whole of Jes to hear. These days there is a Christmas song for everything and your uni experience is no exception. I mean, what’s more relatable than the “OK fine, just another drink then” line from the iconic Baby It’s Cold Outside?

“Baby if you’ve got to go away, don’t think I could take the pain, won’t you stay another day?” (East 17 – Stay Another Day)

Sound familiar? Ah yes, the recognised sound of that creep in Soho begging you to stay and spend the night with him after you finally let him buy you a drink. They’ll act like you’re ending a four-year relationship when all you want to do is find your friends and dance to Gold Digger like nobody’s watching.

“I really can’t stay” “Baby it’s cold outside” (Baby, It’s Cold Outside)

Is this a Christmas lyric? Or is it your internal dialogue in the Robbo once you have successfully written your assignment title, after faffing about for approximately one hour and having to convince yourself to stay at least until lunchtime? Wrong answers only.

“I’m trying to play it cool, but it’s hard to focus when I see him walking ‘cross the room” (Ariana Grande – Santa Tell Me)

What’s the one thing bound to persuade any Newcastle Uni student to stay in the library a bit longer? Their Robbo crush. If you think we actually go to the library to study, you are mistaken. I mean, it is almost impossible to concentrate on anything other than that fit guy/girl you *coincidentally* see sat across from you every day.

“We got a lot of catching up to do, I just can’t take this missing you” (Leona Lewis – One More Sleep)

The announcement of Tier 3 had all Newcastle students asking the same question: “does this mean we can’t go to the pub?” With Lockdown 2.0, and now an extension of sorts, never have we ever seen such a cold and lonely December. What are cold winter nights if we can’t spend them under the heaters of Osborne Road? All we can say is, come January, we certainly do have a lot of catching up to do.

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!” (Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town)

For some students, this line could easily have been written in reference to the Covid marshals that have allegedly been harassing them this semester.

“Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?” (Band Aid – Do They Know It’s Christmas?)

This one is for you, Uni.  The endless deadlines set at this time of year would lead me to guess that you must, in fact, not know it’s Christmas time at all. This is the time of year we should be watching The Holiday and drowning ourselves in mulled wine, but instead, all we’re drowning in is copious amounts of work and the stress of looming exams.

“Tell me baby do you recognise me? Well, it’s been a year, it doesn’t surprise me” (Wham! – Last Christmas)

Feel like pure shit just want Market Shaker back x

Now while you’re across the country for Christmas and missing all the Newcastle antics, at least you now know that you can listen to some Christmas tunes and feel right back at home again. You’re welcome.

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