What your choice of Jesmond shop says about you
If you go to Waitrose, congrats on being loaded
Let’s be honest, your supermarket choice is a personality trait. Not all of us have access to a car at uni so it’s down to the trusty shops of Jesmond to get us by. Whether it’s a quick trip to Tesco for some library snacks or into Waitrose for a full-on weekly shop, we all know you have a favourite destination that you could never cheat on. And like it or not, it says a lot about you.
The cultural centre of Jesmond. If you’re a student within a 5-mile radius you have entered this shop at least once, most likely braving the twenty-minute queue in your signature flares and a black puffer jacket. Your love language is meal deals, and Tesco’s are not to be missed. Your daily trip here is a catwalk, so those who choose it as their staple are bold and not to be messed with. Aspiring BNOC’s who are a little too posh for Aldi but not quite posh enough for M&S will be right at home.
A niche version of Tesco. You either CBA to wait in the Tesco queue, or you’re being stubborn and sticking with Sainsbury’s cos you’ve repeatedly argued with your housemates that it’s the better supermarket. Either way, a brave choice, considering the only things that shop seems to sell are “free from” alternatives and alcohol, but hey, “one man’s trash..” and all that. You repeatedly tell yourself that it’s the cheap option, whilst listening to the weirdly sincere self-checkout machine asking “would you like a receipt?” for your £20 shop that consists of five items. Still, alcohol from here is surprisingly cheap, so maybe you’re onto a winner.
Rehills of Jesmond
You’re equal parts edgy and lazy – walking to the chain stores on the other side of Jesmond is effort, but shopping here is justified cos you’re supporting small businesses. Frequent shoppers at RiRi’s include and are limited to those who live close by, are rich enough to bypass the £5 minimum card spend limit each time, and/or drink way too much. The extensive alcohol selection (seriously, it’s a whole separate room) means you just love getting on it, and it’s massively helped by the huge number of overpriced but beaut snacks that you can’t get anywhere else in Jesmond. A solid choice.
Your mum and dad own a detached house in the “wealthy” part of town, and you’ve probably ridden a horse at some point in your life. You’re either from London, or you wish you were. You’ve been deluded into thinking three fillets of fish for £10 is a bargain, but then again, what’s £10 to the bourgeoise? Waitrose is the place to go for your much-needed fix of boujee snacks and branded food that Tesco and Sainsbury’s goers just don’t quite understand. A quick trip in after a yoga session to buy some £4 vegan sourdough bread? Nice. You’re posh and you own it – good for you.
The common reaction to hearing this shop name is “what’s that?”, and if you live in West Jesmond you’ve definitely never heard of it, but Mr V’s is the classic staple corner shop. The go-to for indie people throughout the area, its proximity to everyone’s favourite Italian (Francesca’s) gives it gold status, and it holds a surprising amount of treasures. Much like RiRi’s, the snack potential in this shop is unrivalled by its more mainstream competitors. Frequent Mr V’s shoppers all went on a gap year to Thailand and float around Jesmond in elephant harem pants and a (recycled) tote bag.
A trailblazer. A true supporter of democracy. Loves supporting local. If you shop here you consume exclusively alcohol, but no judgement – the man behind the counter is a king and he deserves your support. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Jesmond may be small, but it has everything you need. Whether you’re a sucker for some unreal snacks or you just love a meal deal, every shop is Jesmond has its charm. So fear not, there will always be somewhere for you to pop into at 10:40pm for a late-night Crunchie.