Macaulay Rose is Newcastle’s Fittest Male Fresher for 2020
Ladies and gentlemen…
After months of nominations, voting and doubtlessly gauping too, we can finally announce this year’s fittest male fresher. With a staggering 64% of the vote… it’s Macaulay Rose!
Macaulay had a faultless road to the crown, winning his heat en route to the final, and had plenty of thanks to give.
“I’d like to thank The Newcastle Tab for this claim to fame – it’s been fun. This has made all the crippling debt, attending uni on two hours sleep and many other failures worth it. I’m contemplating dropping out of university as it’s surely all downhill from here.”
Attracting nearly two-thirds of the vote is all the more impressive when you consider the strength of the final – all those who made it were worthy of their place. Killian Wyness finished runner-up with 10% of the vote, with Finn Sheehan very, very narrowly behind him taking third place.
Macaulay shares the throne with Grace Gregory, our fittest female fresher.
Has he caught your eye? Although once proclaiming that he was “single, but too lazy to mingle”, it appears Macaulay may have had a change of heart.
“I’m definitely open to the idea of changing that – who knows?! I take every vote I received as a personal challenge to a game at Ghetto Golf, which I’ll happily oblige to once this lockdown is behind us.”
Celebrations will no doubt be in order for after the quarantine. Your fittest fresher vowed that “trebs are on me for everyone who voted – but max one per person because I’m a student.”
“Shoutout to all NHS staff and key workers during this shit time. Stay safe everyone!”