Newcastle Uni has overtaken Oxford in the official university league tables

Newcastle University has overtaken Oxford in the official university league tables.

Newcastle, who previously sat at fairly respectable 22nd place on the rankings, has now swept in and beaten Oxford. The Oxford Uni.

While Newcastle didn’t quite hit the top spot of number one, second place is definitely still a winner.

The University rankings have changed so drastically due to the coronavirus pandemic, which led to the introduction of a “sickest uni” category in the league tables. Those conducting the rankings seem to have mistaken the meaning of sickness, thus raising Newcastle’s profile to second in the UK.

Maddy, a first year, told The Newcastle Tab: “I don’t care what people say, Newcastle deserves to be NUMBER ONE. Numero uno. Watch out Cambridge, we’re coming for you.”

Following the news of Newcastle moving up the ranks, the Oxford Cambridge boat race has now been relocated to the River Tyne, with Cambridge competing against Newcastle for the illustrious trophy. The trophy has also been revamped into a massive treb, which the winners shall drink.

The boat race is now sponsored by Geordie Shore and Made In Chelsea respectively, with each television show to have a live televised episode during the race.

If you’re not sure what is going on, check the date today. Happy April Fools.