Picture this, it’s September 2019, the sun is shining and you’re back in the Toon. You’ve finally levelled up from halls and were all settled into your second year house with your besties. With the whole year ahead of you, you hang up your lights and start to plan all the house parties you’re going to throw.

Flash-forward to March 2020, and thanks to Covid-19 everyone has been sent home.

You’d dreamt of that moment since you signed those contracts and handed over that hefty admin fee, only to have it completely cut short. You can only hope that your elephant tapestry will be ok!

So, whilst you decided which pair of pyjamas to wear today, let’s reminisce on the problems that you inevitably encountered in the nightmare that is student letting. Jesmond may be posh, but you most certainly are not.

Bills aren’t included?!

Fresh out of halls and suddenly you have to find your own bills supplier. Get ready to be ripped off.

To get a TV license or to not get a TV license? That is the question.

From fancy words like super-fiberoptic broadband, to trying to figure out what kind of measurement “Mbps” actually is? Just don’t be these girls, make sure to read your meters properly.

There will be arguments about the heating

None of you will ever be the same temperature at the same time. Not ever.

The unlucky ones on the top floor will be wrapped up under layers of blankets, suffering in their unbelievably cold rooms. Those on the middle floor will never know the struggle.

Stuff will be broken… and you will get the blame

When you signed for your house, your agent appeared to be your best friend, genuinely interested in you and your housemates. Don’t be fooled. All landlords care about is your money. They give you as little as possible, for as much as possible.

So, set your expectations low. Be prepared for everything to be broken and for nothing to be done about it. There will be weeks of pestering emails and frustrating phone calls before anything is fixed.

Take pictures of EVERYTHING if you ever want to see your deposit again. Your inventory is your new best friend. Your letting agent is definitely not.

You now have to share a bathroom

Unless you were in Leazes last year, chances are, you were probably used to the luxury of your ensuite. Now you have to actively plan your shower times if everyone wants to be ready for pres on time.

Get ready for mouldy bathtubs and sticky shower curtains. I only ask for one thing, please rinse the tub afterwards. No one wants to see your freshly trimmed pubes, thank you very much.

Someone will forget to lock the front door

Whether you came in drunk, were too lazy to let your mate out yourself, left in a rush or simply just forgot – it’s going to happen.

Cue the inevitable passive aggressive message in the chat “Sorry for not wanting to get robbed!” and the guilty reply “Chill out guys, it’s only Jesmond”.

You will never see your parcels again

Unless you have a working doorbell, it is near impossible to hear that front door ad it will always fall to the unlucky person on the bottom floor. Oh how you’ll miss the safety of your accommodation reception.

The group chat will soon solely consist of messages of expected parcels.

Whilst your letterbox will be filled with ‘sorry we missed you’ cards. At least this will force you to actually go and meet your neighbours?

Just don’t accidentally send your parcel to the wrong address…your mum certainly won’t be impressed by your third PLT order of the week.

Your parents will be horrified at how messy your house is

Piles of plates. Overflowing bins. Weeks of press ‘sludge’ permanently stuck to your floor.

Oh and let’s not forget the unidentifiable ‘food’ at the back of your fridge.

“How do you live like this”, she cries in horror. To be fair, it probably wasn’t even that clean in the first place.

Your first house party will be the best and worst night of your life

Ahh, the humble house party. The perfect way to get drunk, have a good time and not spend too much money.

Back in the day you would beg your parents to let you have one, now they are a weekly occurrence.

Except now the noise complaint is a very real problem. And if anything gets broken…then say hello to your overdraft. Totally worth it though.

Running into your ‘real-life, grown up next-door neighbours’ afterwards will never not be awkward. You know they probably hate you. If you’re lucky enough to be entirely surrounded by other students, you’re living the dream.