Who is it going to be? Newcastle’s Fittest Fresher: The Boys, The Final
It’s time to vote for your King of the Freshers
Finally, the time has come. After weeks of nominations, voting and counting, the six final contenders to be Newcastle’s fittest male fresher are finally here. So have a break from learning your TikTok dances, postpone that head shaving and instead give a first-year student the ultimate glory. Choose wisely – the power is in your hands.
DYLAN PATSANZA – Heat One Winner
“Don’t know whether to be more excited about this or the first post-COVID Soho sesh.”
In an undeniably tight first heat, it was Dylan who just edged out the rest. He’s still single, and when we return to Newcastle we can expect to see Mr Freshers Take Two in Jungle or wooing his dates at mini-golf.
KILLIAN WYNESS – Heat One Runner-Up
“Look Mum, I made it!”
It was the North East’s own Killian who came a very close runner-up in that first heat. The man is above pick-up lines, not that he needs them as he is very much taken (sorry, lonely quarantined admirers).
MACAULAY ROSE – Heat Two Winner
“Got a higher score in this than I will in my degree.”
Maybe it was the eBay-centric pick-up line or maybe it was his “godly” physique that allowed Macauley to outshine the rest of heat two. Single, but too lazy to mingle, he prefers to cuddle a takeaway after his nights out.
ED CONNELL – Heat Two Runner-Up
“So happy to be in the final, but my Dad left me when he found out I was in the competition.”
Ed, his love of Pop World and his, ahem, bad memory also managed to claw his way above the rest. He is single, and also a fan of mini-golf – I’d drop him a DM if you want to find out more about that famed half-inch knob.
FINN SHEEHAN – Heat Three Winner
“Absolutely over the moon. Not sure where I go from here – think my life just peaked.”
It’s impossible to say whether putting a topless photo of yourself helps, but we can say Finn absolutely breezed through heat three. If he takes your fancy, he vows that his face is a better seat than any chair.
ROSS KIRTLAND – Heat Three Runner-Up
“When COVID-19 caused Castle Leazes and uni to close down I was really upset, however, making it to the final has helped to heal this pain of no more meat-free Mondays and awkward small talk in the kitchen. Although I have made it to the final I think all medals and praise should go to the NHS workers during the current events #StayHome”
Our serenading casanova Ross is our other finalist from heat three, alluring the votes with promises of biccies and cuddles. You’ll no doubt find this ‘saucy little minx’ on the ‘Wednesday El Clásico’ very soon.