Why the Black Lion in Bishops Stortford is the best worst hometown club in the country

Lets be real… it’s a staple


The Black Lion raised everyone who lives in Bishops Stortford. After turning 18 you'd naturally spend every weekend on that dance floor but since going to uni we all like to think we are better than nights out in the Black Lion. We love to hate it and yet we still end up there every Friday during the summer.

So here's a tribute to our old favourite, the best worst come club in the country:

You're guaranteed to see everyone from school…

That girl who kissed your ex? Yep, she's here too. Everyone you know from Stortford is in the Black Lion on a Friday night and you can't turn around without bumping into someone you know.

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You always take some of the club home with you

You're guaranteed to leave at 2am with the lush combo of jager and sick in your hair and it's probably not your sick either.

After all, it did used to be called used to be called Scruffy Macs for a reason.

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There really is NO dress code

Jeans and a nice top or kangaroo fancy dress, it really doesn't matter! The Black Lion is so rogue you could literally wear your pyjamas and no one would notice…

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A kangaroo and a prawn???

The interior decor is interesting

Do we all remember the bras on the ceiling? Nothing screams the Black Lion like a ceiling made of used bras. They were all donated in the name of charity of course – we love it.

It is literally a sauna inside

It's December and -3 degrees outside and yet the Black Lion ALWAYS feels like A LITERAL SAUNA. It must just be due to how crazy everyone goes in there, dancing so much that everyone is sweating. Your hair is drenched, makeup sweating off, everyone is complaining and yet we all stay till close anyway… iconic.

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Everyone is sweating but no one is taking their coat off???

The karaoke nights are… interesting

Everyone gets too bevved and convinces themselves they are Beyonce for the night whilst banging out a sloppy performance of 'Sweet Caroline'. Unfortunately, the next morning you wake up to snap chat stories that prove that is not the case… embarrassing. Fun though.

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The toilets are a free for all

It's where everything kicks off as you watch six girls skip the queue to squeeze into one cubicle. Rude. The lines are always painfully long because at least one cubicle is occupied by someone being sick. Realistically, are you even from Stortford if you've not chundered in the toilets at least once?

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A classic move.

It closes after all the takeaways

Having to chose between leaving 20 minutes early to go get cheesy chips or staying to listen to the DJ bang out the classics is perhaps the WORST thing about the Black Lion. No matter how hard you try and convince the guys at Sheiko's to let you in after 2am, they won't do it.

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Absolutely heartbreaking.

Black Lion… you're a mess but never change!