Our love/hate relationship with Belfast’s worst nightclub, Lux

Why Lux, Belfast is far from a Luxury club


Belfast has an underrated club scene, and definitely has something for everyone. It's up there with Leeds and Liverpool, and some nights out would even put Newcastle to shame.

However, some clubs are more controversial and a little bit questionable.

Lux (or Villa as some of us might remember) is a staple Wednesday night out. Is it your go-to? Or is it your worst nightmare?

It can take 45 mins to actually get in

The queue for Lux seems to back up through the centre of Belfast. By this stage, pre drinks have worn off and you start to get cold. It doesn’t end when you get in, because there’s always a second queue to get upstairs to the ACTUAL dance floor. Already, you regret coming out in the first place.

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The actual dance floor is the size of a match box

Once you beat the crowd and finally find the dance floor, you’ll need to squeeze past what seems like hundreds of people to find a spot. It’s down a few steps, which makes it feel like you’re trapped in a pit and can’t escape. Not ideal. Everyone is still going nuts to Dynamite, even though they cant get their hands above elbow height.

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Even the smoking area is packed

Once you finally beat yet ANOTHER queue to actually get outside, you’re faced with even more people. Outside is even more crowded than inside, and you struggle to find a free spot. If it’s raining, you embrace the wet, because there’s no chance of finding shelter. Who even notices the damp when you're drunk anyway.

All you'll smell are VKs and donuts

You'll see drinks getting spilled left, right and centre. The floor has a fluorescent glow of jaeger, vodka and VKs. There’s also a specific Lux smell that you’ll never quite figure out.

Although there's free donuts for some reason- no one really knows why. We all love to see it.

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Shots are 90p

This is Lux’s selling point. No one can resist drinks this cheap. What other club can you get drunk in for under £1?

A song barely lasts 10 seconds

You’ve finally got a double vodka, made it to the dance floor and all of your friends have stuck together. Success. All you want to hear is Mr Brightside and have a drunken dance. But the DJ will play the opening five seconds, and remix it within an inch of its life with shit charts song.

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Bouncers cling to the railings to avoid the dance floor

Probably in fear that if they fall in, they’ll never come back out.

You’ll see your younger brother’s friends

You'll swear they were 16 last time you checked, WHEN DID WE GET SO OLD?! Every time you go, the age demographic seems to get younger, and you’ll promise you’ll never go back.

The toilets are as chaotic as the dance floor

If you came here for a break from the madness of the dance floor, you may as well walk straight back out.

Expensive entry, cheap everything else – you get what you pay for is NOT true

Lux is no luxury, and that £6 entry fee suggests it backs itself a little too much. The question you've gotta ask, is if you'd really want it to be any more luxurious though – I think it would lose its charm.

Everyone complains about it but secretly loves it, we all keep going back. It's the cheap shots: They beat everything.