We asked Newcastle students about their wildest drunk stories
Cheeky jog to Gateshead anyone?
We asked people to tell us their craziest stories following a night out on the toon and they didn't disappoint…
"After a night out in Trop last year I was so drunk I tried to help the staff clear up after closing and got locked in a storage unit. I was in there for about half an hour and was shivering so much that when the manager found me, she wrapped me in a foil blanket and drove me in her Volvo to the RVI. They tried to do blood tests on me – absolutely fucking not thank you – so I decided to escape to Leazes. During the night I had lost my keys and phone (obviously) so I threw rocks at my friends' windows to try and wake them up. With no response, I scanned my options and believe it or not, the most appealing one was to sleep under a bush in the Leazes car park. After many a trial and tribulation I managed to get back into my room in the morning. I was so cold by this point that I took a half an hour shower which was rudely interrupted by a Leazes security guard bursting into my room and bathroom (I forgot to lock the door.. whoops) to check that I was alive, but they literally walked into my shower while I was butt naked. They told me I was a missing person and the police had been involved for hours."
The Ultimate Walk of Shame
"So a friend of a friend went back to this girl's house after a night out. They had sex and then this guy decided he wanted to ditch so ran out of the room, completely naked without his clothes or things. Then decided to run out of the house itself. The door closed behind him and then he was like "Shit! I'm naked!!!". Anyway, by this point there's other people out and about on the streets, and someone saw him and called the police because this guy was running around the streets of Jesmond stark bollock naked. So the police show up and proceed to take him home in a little towel. As the guy had forgotten his keys they had to knock on the door. His housemate opened the door and the police literally asked "Is this yours?". The most awkward part is that the guy had to go back to the girl's house the next day and collect all of his stuff"
"I like to run. A homing instinct overwhelms me on nights out and this can often lead to a quick jog home from the club. After one particularly lengthy pres I arrived in town and realised I was a bit too drunk so decided to separate from my friends and go get myself some cheesy chips to sober up. When I finished the chips and was still too drunk to get in I decided it was probably best to take myself home. Drunk me got hungry again after about five minutes so I went to get more cash out but, my card was swallowed by the card machine (I only wanted more cheesy chips). This pissed me off and so I decided to run back to my accommodation. I was running for about 10 minutes until I realised that my surroundings were completely unfamiliar. I was running along the motorway across the river… In a state of complete confusion I saw a petrol station in the distance and decided to go in. I approached the cashier and asked her if she could order me an Uber back to Castle Leazes as my phone had died. She said she had no idea where that was and when I explained to her it was a Newcastle Uni accommodation she told me that I wasn't in Newcastle but in fact, that I had actually run to Gateshead!"
When you've got to go… you've got to go
"You know when you've just got into town after pres and you're really full from all that liquid courage you had to down before the Uber arrived? Well I had an extreme case of that, so I decided to go for a pee down the side of an alleyway before going into the club. My friend was with me and neither of us were that drunk by this point, she was on the lookout. Anyway, a bouncer from the club we were going to saw us from around the corner and shouted at us to stop peeing, but I was mid-flow! I couldn't so he came over to me (while i was literally squatting on the floor) picked me up under my arms like a child and moved me! My trousers were literally around my ankles and I was also (kinda mid-flow!). He dropped me off after he realised I was still peeing and told me to get lost. Mortified, I went straight home."
The unwelcome surprise
“My friend was getting with this girl, and things were going well so they got a taxi back to hers. They get back and go into her room briefly, before anything happened he wanted to quickly go to the loo. Does his business, then comes out of the loo and couldn’t really remember which door was the girl’s room, he thought; “Oh it’s the one next to the bathroom”, he walked in, there she is lying in bed and he saw her long hair and so thought it was the same girl he had been with all evening. So he jumps into bed with her and started stroking her and there was a bit of fondling going on, this poor girl wakes up and turned around to him “What the fuck! What the fuck are you doing, who are you? Who are you here for?”. Confused he replied “What do you mean who am I here for? I’m here for you?” Thinking that this was all one girl. She said to him “Well, no! Get out of my bed, go home!”. Confused, he leaves the rooms and decides to go back to his after an eventful evening. But while he’s walking downstairs deciding that his strange night out was finally over, but he bumped into the original girl on the stairs on his way out. She said to him “Where have you been!?” and he was like “…oh SHHHHIIIIITTTT”.”