Ten messages you’ll definitely find in every flat group chat
Bet these look familiar…
Every flat needs a group chat, probably named after some inside joke that only those in it will get; and whilst no two flats are the same, you’ll definitely find these messages in every flat group chat.
1. The tidy up
The kitchen was kept nice and clean at first, but gradually, over time, laziness has set in and you've decided all the clearing up can wait until later. The game of Jenga being played with dirty pots and pans has escalated to the point where someone has to say something. This message will usually start with "I don't want to nag", or "sorry to be a pain" before insisting that the kitchen gets tidied ASAP.
2. The pres request
Shock, someone wants to host pre-drinks, usually for some society or sports team night out. This message is almost always laced with false promises to persuade the rest of the flat to comply, even though, inevitably, everyone with a 9am lecture the next day will be kept awake and the flat will look like a bomb site for weeks afterwards.
3. The drunk text
This is usually some sort of grammatically incorrect declaration of love followed by nine consecutive Ws and an incoherent voice note that goes on for far too long, sent around 4am. The sentiment is nice, until they start describing in detail how much they just threw up in the hallway and the sink (which is still full of dishes).
4. The apology
This is most likely sent a few hours after the drunk text, once they've regained the ability to spell, apologising for the incomprehensible messages, incessant shouting upon arrival at 4:30am, and of course the sick all over the flat. This will contain yet more empty promises along the lines of "it won't happen again", incurring begrudging acceptance from the rest of the flat.
5. The interrogation
Inevitably, something will mysteriously get stolen, broken, or vandalised at some point, and the victim will rightfully grill everyone else in the flat to find the culprit. This is particularly common with food, as people give in to the temptation to pinch a biscuit or a fistful of pasta from someone else's cupboard when no one's looking. Everyone will get very defensive and very outraged upon hearing the news that someone has been taking what's not theirs, not because they're actually aggrieved, just to seem innocent in the eyes of the victim.
6. The visitor
Similar to the pres request, this is really just an announcement disguised as a question, in order to be polite. Someone is having their friend come and stay and they don't want you to be alarmed when you see a stranger sleeping on the sofa cradling a bottle of Smirnoff and dribbling onto your cushion at 3 O'clock in the afternoon. Either that or someone's parents are visiting and everyone should keep out of the way.
7. The takeaway
Now these are the texts you like to receive. Usually sent in the evening, someone will have the ingenious idea of splitting a takeaway between everyone and who could resist? Especially when Greggs offer delivery on Uber Eats, it's a no-brainer.
8. The forgotten keys
Classic. Your flatmate has forgotten their keys again and now they want your help to get in. You wonder how they could be so stupid as to leave without their keys? Until you do the same thing the next day and have to swallow your pride and ask someone to let you in.
9. The noise complaint
Someone couldn't help themselves but blare their tunes through their massive speaker in the middle of the night before your exam. No one's happy about it. Someone has to speak up and ask that they turn it down and peace is restored until tomorrow night.
10. The spontaneous night out
The ultimate. Nothing beats it. Around 9pm you accept that you're letting the night slip away until someone pipes up suggesting a last minute bender. Why not? They say you regret the chances you don't take in life so grab the night by the horns and inevitably end up in Soho.