Here’s what to do on Valentine’s Day in the Toon without a significant other

Let's be honest, Newcastle University isn’t exactly renowned for love and relationships, in fact, most of us are single, so whether you’re on the rebound, friends with benefits or newly, happily or sadly single follow this Valentine's Day guide how to craft the perfect evening in the Toon.

Newly single

A night in surrounded by the likes of Ben and Jerry’s, tissues and Friends. Yes it’s sad but it’s also a fail proof classic. Forget venturing out to watch smug couples be all happy and soppy; you’ve just leant the hard truths of love and that is not what you need right now! Also, avoid all social media and maybe call your mum because she’ll probably tell you she didn’t like them anyway.

Rebounding

So you’ve fallen off the horse and are tentatively looking to get back on it with the help of copious amounts of alcohol, as little small talk as possible and ideally, the mutual understanding that in the morning neither is to contact the other again. If this is the case then head to Tiger Tiger or Sinners for some guaranteed action that will fleetingly relieve the pain of heartbreak until February the 15th when you wake up in Sandyford, or worse, university halls, with a sore head and have to risk the walk of shame down Osborne Road looking rather bedraggled and praying no one will spot you.

Friends with benefits

Do not acknowledge Valentine's Day, if they bring it up act nonchalant and say you didn’t even realise. Maybe head to the pub together (just Blanc or Cosy Dove; it's not a special occasion) with all your mates because you’re so casual you can do that kind of thing, no one even has to know what’s going on behind the scenes. But inevitably, end up in bed together, why? Because why not? That’s the whole point of your situation isn’t it. Also, if you’re thinking about a Valentine’s card, don’t.

Single and happy

You're single, you're happy, it’s the year of you and that's how you want it to be, in your opinion Valentine's Day is a commercial troop but on the other hand you love your friends and any reason to celebrate in February is accepted. Start with a boozy dinner then see where the night takes you, maybe mix it up a bit and head to Holy Hobo or the Dog and Parrot for some live music and other fun singletons that also don't really give a fuck it's valentines day.

Sad single

Oh dear, being a sad single isn't fun but the chances are you aren't the only one so stop moping and do something about it. Top suggestion; make yourself look 10/10 bangable and head for cocktails with the girls (Bar 28 or Pleased to Meet You). The chances are the lads next door will also be sad singletons who will try their luck by sending the cheapest shots over to your table in the hope of wooing you into bed. If things really do go tits up and you have a sob, at least your best mate Josie will be there to redo your make up in the loos, slurring her words telling you that singles have way more fun anyway and that she thinks you're beautiful.