We went to every Spoons in the Toon to find out which is the best
Rated and slated, so you don’t have to
Exams? Finished. Work? Done. Bored? Very.
Ladies and gentleman, this is the story of how two girls filled their nine to five work day by conducting a very important investigation: which really is the best Spoons in Newcastle? Our beloved Toon is home to five Spoons, but only one can be crowned the best.
Our journey started at The Quayside, a delightful and strong contestant. Sat on the quaint riverside, we enjoyed our first drink of the day amongst the busy Spoons breakfast crowd.
Atmosphere: 8/10 – A very nice interior, with lots of tables and levels. Good place to take your nan.
Time taken to be served: 7/10 – Quite busy, a very wholesome 10 minutes. All in all not a bad effort.
Outside area: 10/10 – Even though it snowed on our visit, we couldn't rate the outside area more highly; it was a big flex. With lots of benches and umbrellas, as well as a view of the river and Tyne Bridge, this category won The Quayside a lot of points.
Proximity from uni: 6/10 – Just catch the metro from Haymarket to Central and then a quick walk to Riverside.
With its pleasant atmosphere, decent service, and small walk from uni, we were very impressed with the small Quayside Spoons. However, we had to start our mission somewhere.
Next was the Mile Castle by Central Station. Being a bigger establishment, we found a nicer table on the top floor overlooking the bustle of travellers entering the station.
Atmosphere: 7/10 – This felt more student-y, with lots of hungover teens regretting their decisions and demolishing the classic £3 Spoons breakfast. We, however, enjoyed our second beverage in a much more open space and friendly atmosphere.
Time taken to be served: 5/10 – This was a tad longer than The Quayside, but unsurprising due to the size.
Outside area: 3/10 – Highly disappointing view of the busy road, minimal seating space. Big no.
Proximity from uni: 7/10 – Skipping the walk this time, just a four minute metro ride from Haymarket to Central.
The place sufficed, offering decent service and table choice galore. It also also does a silent disco every Wednesday, if that floats your boat.
The Keel Row
The third spoons was a rogue one – The Keel Row in the Gate. Neither of us had never been, but entered in anticipation.
Safe to say, neither of us were impressed.
Atmosphere: 2/10 – Crammed into a half "decorated" booth with a dirty table in front of us, we decided this Spoons gave us a legitimate reason to drink. Dingy, red walls and a piped ceiling created an overall industrial, harsh aesthetic, with no natural light or windows.
Time taken to be served: 9/10 – To be fair to the team, the service was pretty fast. Bearing in mind we ordered food as well, everything came in under fifteen minutes. And the beloved Spoons app delivered the goods.
Outside Area: 2/10 – No comment.
Proximity from Uni: A short metro from Haymarket to Monument then a two minute walk to The Gate is no hassle, also the closest Spoons within walking distance of Leazes and just round the corner from The View, Verde and Liberty Plaza.
As you can probably tell, The Keel Row was not very impressive in pretty much every aspect. Thank u, next.
The Five Swans
The Five Swans was the next stop, and as the walk was just a too much of a challenge, we took the Metro from Monument to Haymarket.
Atmosphere: 7.5/10 – This Spoons is well-loved and and regularly visited and did not disappoint. The student crowd made us feel right at home with other fellow day-drinkers.
Time taken to be served: 8/10 – This was a Spoons P.B with a serving time of six minutes. Unfortunately, in this order, Alice treated us to a surprise "Strika-Bomb".
Outside Area: 7.5/10 – Very impressive, especially in summer, with nice view of the park.
Proximity from Uni: 10/10 – So close it would be rude not to.
Overall: A stunning 10/10
The Five Swans: student-packed, tasteful interior, and most importantly, close to uni – the holy grail of Spoons. It’s a yes from us.
The Job Bulman
We concluded our journey in the depths of Gosforth, at The Job Bulman. The travels made us tired but it was a day well spent.
Atmosphere: 8.5/10 – Being the sophisticated, snazzy place that Gosforth is, the Spoons pub delivered in both interior design and pleasant atmosphere.
Time taken to be served: 5/10 – Average, enough said.
Outside area: 7/10- Really cute fairy lights and would be sick for a basic Instagram (you know who you are).
Proximity from Uni: 1/10 – A trek and a half. Haymarket to Gosforth, (eight minute Metro) plus a very confusing 16 minute walk from South Gosforth station, which we got very lost on.
We must give it credit where it’s due, and even though it is a slight trek from the homey familiarity of the city centre, it was definitely a lovely place to conclude our Spoons tour.
So our overall winner was The Five Swans with a massive 10/10. But regardless, all the pubs did the job and solidified our faith in Newcastle's partying reputation.
You may also like
A letter to all the ignorant people out there
Not just a pretty view, you know
The place you wish you knew about sooner
Just because we have 29 Greggs doesn’t mean we’re not cultured
We have a winner…