A considered ranking of the fittest halls in Newcastle

No one likes to admit it but southerners are the fittest

Remember your first pres at Liberty Plaza? Seeing how much nicer it is compared to your little washbasin room with its ugly colour scheme (with only a slight price difference). Everyone there seemed to be fit, tanned, toned and beautiful, but you never actually spoke to anyone because you didn't want to get shot down. Or maybe you found the love of your life in the Castle Leazes dining room.

The question is, which really IS the fittest halls in Newcastle?!

Liberty Plaza

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The home of the southerner (or the posh northerners) who can afford the price tag of a halls that actually looks nice. These are the legends of MSA and will constantly be caught in their flared pants and bandeau tops or their shit shirts tucked into their rolled up jeans. Then again, these lot have definitely got the looks to pull if off.

Castle Leazes

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The true rah breeding ground. Students at Leazes still somehow manage to look fit in their North Face puffer coats and old sports team joggers. There's just something about that boy with the rollie behind his ear asking anyone and everyone if they've got any numbers for drop offs. The girls somehow get a million times more hot when they sometimes take off that puffer to go Swingers.

The View

They're probably vegan. Aside from the plant based diets, the population does contain a few fitties and since it’s the most expensive accommodation they might have the money to pay for both of you on a date and then take you back to listen to them play their acoustic guitar.


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Majority of the guys here will be 6'3, love hitting the gym and are Voodoo promoters on the side, but unfortunately his personality just brings his rating down. If that isn't quite your thing then there are a few hidden gems… most of them are from the North, and that Manchester accent is just irresistible to the ears.

Park View

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The new home for freshers, you will find a fittie from at least every major city in the UK here. Much like Verde, it's packed full of promoters. Definitely worth a trip if you're looking for "free entry for life" to every club in Newcastle.

Bowsden Court

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The outsider. Not many people have heard of you and not many people will have a clue where you live but you still try to act proud. You lose some points because you couldn't shower before you came out because your hot water got cut off again.

Are you worth the £12 taxi back when the girl in Leazes lives just a five minute walk away?

St Mary’s College

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The ones with the Samsung phones. These lot don't always look the best in pictures, probably because of their selfie camera quality.

They might not be worth the trek either when you've left the club because you'll have to travel halfway across the Toon to get back to your own gaff. We apologise if you live here also – a few of you might be fit.