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The six stages of your friends NOT visiting you at uni

Let the excuses commence


Home friends are without a doubt great. You spend your whole childhood surrounded by them: going to school, having sleepovers, getting into trouble. But since you took the ultimate leap into the wonderful world of university, you find yourself thinking "why haven’t they visited me all year? Have I done something wrong?"

Sadly, this is the story for too many students up and down the country, but here is a short summary of the typical university visit chat through the year, to let all freshers and even blissfully unaffected second or third years know that THE PAIN IS REAL.

Stage 1: The ultimate uni trip 2K18

You’ve just arrived at your swanky new student halls (okay so most are so swanky or so new) and you begin to plan the ultimate uni trip 2018 for your friends to come check out your new life. The plan is to drink your body weight in alcohol, pull more guys or girls than your city was capable of having and introduce them to all your new uni friends, who they’ll constantly be wondering "are they better than us?"

Before you came to university there was no question of your friends not coming to see you. "Newcastle? I’ll be there, you won’t be able to get rid of me!" "of course, I’ll come visit you, what’s a few hours on the train?!" But, as the weeks begin to trail on, you begin to think, maybe it’s time for another message.

This time sadly you aren’t quite met with the same abundance of enthusiasm that was there during summer and this hereby commences the start of stage 2.

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This could be us having fun but you playin'

Stage 2: The beginning of the excuses saga

This is where the cracks begin to show. You start to question your whole friendship group and whether planning that holiday to Zante next year was really the greatest move. The classic way this situation begins is with false hope: "OMG of course I’m still coming up don’t even stress, it’s just mum and dad are coming up next week and then I’ve got this sick event the week after so yeah, I’ll defo book it after that!"

At this point, a little doubt sets in. You start thinking, "well yeah, I know that the distance is kinda far and yeah, it’s like £100 on the train to get here, but they’re still my friends. They’re the ones how dragged me through A-Levels and told me nothing was gonna change. Of course, they’ll still come!"

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Stage 3: It’s pretty much Christmas now

So now it’s fucking freezing and you’ve about had enough of deadlines being thrown at you like snowballs. Your friends STILL haven’t made their supposed "100 per cent, defo, totally" trip to come see you, but you don’t give up hope.

You tell them about all the best clubs they can visit and for us Newcastle lot, the mega three trebs for a £5 at a final attempt before the Christmas bells ring. But once again, you don’t quite receive the answer you were looking for. "Ahh I so would come up, but you know, it’s Christmas in like a week (when in fact Christmas isn’t for another month) and it’s probably not worth it. We’ll go out SO much at home though to make up for it!"

Pfftt. Yeah right…

Stage 4: Money money money

Christmas has come and gone, SHOCK, you didn’t go out as much as was promised (the £30 taxi into town now feels like daylight robbery) and despite the student loan just kicking in, money problems become the new topic of excuses to kick off term 2.

"Sooo I’ve just had a look at the train and FUCK this is more expensive than I expected (A: maybe lay off the PLT then hun and B: you clearly haven’t looked at the train AT ALL this whole year). Maybe I’ll have another look when I get a bit more money, but I’ll have to pass atm. Sorry!"

Great, your friends have chosen online shopping over you. ONLINE SHOPPING. You decided that it’s probably best to try a different approach: leave it up to them, they wanna come, they’ll come.

Money, money, money, must be funny in the rich man's world x x

Stage 5: Work overload

Admittedly Easter was better. It was that bit longer, so you finally catch up with your questionable "friends" after such a long time apart – yes, you are still salty about the lack of uni visits. Period.

But now there’s another kettle of fish: work load.

You’ve all had work in the past but the worry of end of year exams looming means the stress heads in your group literally disappear off the end of the earth – or in other words, off the group chat.

"I am literally drowning in work wtf?! But the bank account is looking a little healthier now so maybe I’ll make it up in a few weeks- that’s if I can get this fucking coursework finished in time!"

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werk werk werk werk werk

Stage 6: The hope of next year

Ah the hope the future brings. Coursework and exams expectedly filled the entirety of the final term and tbh you were a little stressed too, so you decided to let them off.

Now it's onwards and upwards. There have already been mentions of a long-awaited visit for second year saying, "next year is the year, we're gonna own your city."

But by now you’ve learnt to reply with a half-hearted reply, fully knowing not a single soul is going to make that long, expensive journey, so let’s just accept it. Instagram photos and FaceTime videos of your uni life will just have to do.

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So, there you have it. You may lose all hope in your friends and longingly wish they come join in on your university fun, but the harsh reality it, this doesn’t always happen.

The Exeter to Newcastle or even the Leeds to London trip just isn’t one that all us students can fit in or afford. BUT, this doesn’t mean your friends don’t love you. However much you doubt them, they’re still your annoying but lovable home friends that you just couldn’t do without. Well, most of the time.

Photo credits: Aaron Shaquille Carlton(Swingers) Chris Gray (Soho Rooms).