What it’s really like to come to uni with your friends from home
A blessing or a curse?
Starting uni is all about learning new things: mastering how to neck a pint faster than you thought humanly possible, finding the perfect post-night out ritual to avoid a banging hangover the next day and of course, stepping outside your comfort zone and meeting new people to kick off the full uni experience.
Knowing that I was coming to the Toon with five of my best mates from home, I could spare myself the classic 3am callings of many "how to make friends" Google searches. Even though we hadn't all planned to apply to Newcastle together, we somehow all found ourselves with "Congratulations!" letters and a shared destination in sight (was probably the mutual love for the sesh tbh).
Although this took away a lot of the apprehension of moving away from home for the first time and feeling like a fish out of water in a new setting, I couldn’t help but wonder if coming to uni in a friendship group would ruin my personal university experience.
I was afraid I would fall into a pattern of habit and stick to what I already knew and was comfortable with, rather than going out of my way to explore the unknown. I didn’t want to have to choose between keeping my friends from home and ditching them to meet new people, ones that could possibly further my horizon and help me grow and learn more about myself (yep I took a gap year, nope I have not found myself).
Before coming to uni, we made a plan to stay away from each other for at least two weeks (unofficially just Freshers' Week but two weeks sounded like more of an achievement) to give everyone a fair chance to settle in and find new friends. Once I got to Newcastle, that plan went straight out the window and surprise we ended up back in our original group with no friends outside of our pre-destined flat mates (shoutout, I love you all).
When I asked one of my friends from home for his perspective, he said: "I felt much more comfortable as I knew I had people I could rely on and speak to whenever I needed to." Considering that we all went to school in Hong Kong and have moved to Newcastle by ourselves, I agree that having come to uni with my friends from home was extremely consoling. It's like having a piece of home with me in Newcastle, knowing that my family is halfway across the world and not just a short train ride away.
"I was much more inclined to step outside my comfort zone and try new things as I knew I had my best friends by my side," he added. Though this seems paradoxical to my fear of falling into a routine of habit, I have found that it gave me a platform to be a lot more confident and outgoing, in the company of people that already knew and accepted all my quirks.
Knowing what I know now, I would tell myself not to overthink it too much. The way I looked at the situation was more like being in a committed polygamous relationship with my five partners and not wanting to cheat on them, rather than seeing it for what it was; a new opportunity to expand my friendship circle. At the end of the day, everyone starting Uni is in the same boat, whether they already know people or not. At this point, I'm sure that I have already found friends for life (they know how I like my tea and have held my hair back after a messy night, so there's no getting out of that).