How to spot a middle-class student in Newcastle

They're not hard to find – give yourself two weeks in Newcastle and you'll be an expert middle-class student spotter. Just look for someone wearing a Fila fleece, flares and standing in the queue to Swingers. Or alternatively, read our handy guide…

1. Their annoying voices

You go to the Robbo to revise or finish your essay that’s due tomorrow but all you can hear is Rosie from Kent’s voice echoing from wall to wall. The conversation you can hear will consist of stories from their gap yah like “that time I got high on the tallest mountain in Cambodia was SO jokes”.

2. Questionable outfit choices

They wear puffa jackets and vintage sweatshirts to Swingers. Yes, it may be -2 degrees outside, but don’t they know in the North it is a crime against fashion to wear a coat on a night out. Same rules apply for wearing tights to Soho, just no.

3. Their choice of drink

It's going to be Red Stripe every time. Trebles are so first year, and whilst you're still trying to decide between trusty blueberry and exotic cranberry, they're spilling lager down themselves and smoking a rollie.

4. They eat out every single day of the week

Whether it’s Shijo for lunch or The Botanist for dinner, there doesn’t seem to be a day in the life of middle-class students where eating out doesn’t occur. Of course, they insist on posting it on their Insta stories, just so everyone living off beans on toast can painfully watch on Instagram.

5.What they study

Usually English Lit or Philosophy. They pretend to be a Marxist, a Leftie who truly believes in equality for all, yet they refuse to shop anywhere other than Waitrose and won’t be seen dead in a Budget taxi, only Ubers allowed.

6.Their choice of clubs

They wouldn't be seen anywhere other than Swingers or MSA. With a can of Red Stripe in hand and an alice band in tact, if middle-class students are your type, then you've hit the jackpot.

Photo credit: Aaron Shaquille Carlton (Swingers)