We rated every meal in the Robbo so you don’t have to

Let's face it, most of us aren't that proactive student who goes to bed at night, having prepared their homemade quinoa salad as a nutritious break from the Robbo. But those cheap Charlie's wouldn't know a good time if it hit them in the face! The rest of us go with the flow, we let life take us where it may, and we don't think twice about forking out 4 quid for a questionable sandwich.

So here's a handy rating of what the Robbo has to offer for all those who turn up empty handed – god bless ya.

The "Meal Deal" – 3/10

Tesco's, Sainsbury's, even Boots, a bloody pharmacy chain, have tapped into the meal deal market, a simple answer to one's lunchtime needs. Somewhere in the Robbo however, some sadist decided to jump on the bandwagon and create a meal deal so bad that Mister Meal Deal (I Googled it, and apparently there's no record of who invented it – government cover-up?) would be turning in his grave. A complete and utter no.

is that a whole pig between some bread?

Vegan sandwich selection – 4/10

That's a generous 4, entirely based on my soft spot for sausage and chutney (now now, boys). Every year at NUSU, there's an officer elected who says, "hey hang on, the vegans are underrepresented in the Robinson library cafe, something must be done!" And yet every day the vegans face the same gruelling decision between a soggy houmous sandwich, or a dry chickpea wrap. In either case they're settling.

Soup – 5/10

Where do they find bread rolls that small? Is there a group of Borrowers rolling out tiny doughs with tiny rolling pins, complaining about pension cuts and discussing last nights "Borrowers go dating"? It's a bite's worth of bread and mama needs carbs when she's been in the lib all day. For that reason, and for the lack of a broccoli and Stilton option, it's a five for you soups.

laughing at the soup, not with it.

Vegetarian sandwich selection – 7/10

I know, I know, this is quite a high mark but it's simply off the back of one MVP. Often sneered at by confused library goers who simply cannot conflate a popular Indian side dish with the traditional British pudding, the mighty bhaji crumble stands tall in an average selection. If you haven't already, get it.

long may she reign.

Panini – 8/10

Us students, we're a simple folk really. Give us a heated meatball melt, and we're satisfied. That little time in the microwave is like a warm blanket in an otherwise cold and bleak waste land. But please stop blocking the queue for the check out for the rest of us; the panini won't go anywhere.

Pastries – 8/10

I hate to say it but size matters, and don't these pastries just know it. For sure you've got some unrivalled tastes in this section: the sausage roll, a british favourite; pain au chocolat, France's acclaimed addition to the breakfast menu; but on how many would one have to gorge themselves to be full?

The salads – 9/10

I'm actually a real sucker for these salads. Of all the meals on offer in the library, these really take the prize – they have flair, panache, a pizzazz to them that simply can't be found in the other meals. These are the Rachel's to the rest of the Robbo food option's Ross; and you feel like less of a failure for having one. Congrats salads.