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10 things we ALL need to stop wearing on a night out in Newcastle

Just stop it


There's certain outfits that we are just sick of seeing. They look downright ridiculous, suit no-one and belong in the bin. We have compiled a list of the worst offenders, so now's your chance to search through your wardrobe with a black bin bag to hand.

1. Puffa jackets

Yeah, we know it's February and we know it's bloody freezing, but do you really need to wear your Tommy Hilfiger puffa to Swingers? It's boiling inside, and there's so many people outside that you're just huddled together anyway.

Plus, when you take it off and wrap it around your waist you're just inconveniencing everyone else. Are they really necessary? The only time you might feel the cold is when you run from the taxi into the club, and after that you're too drunk to feel the cold anyway. Do us a favour and just embrace the Northern temperatures.

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2. 'Retro' ski jackets

Okay, well done. You have successfully made it to one of the local thrift shops, rifled through all the smelly old clothes and found your gem. It's bright pink, green and yellow and it looks like something a dogdy radio DJ from the 60s would wear. You have absolutely no intention of wearing it when you head of to Val d'Isere and you honestly just look a bit silly. It's 10 sizes too big for you, it smells of fags and old Red Stripe and it makes you look like you belong in the past.

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3. Trackie bottoms

Oh my god. We get it, you either a) don't like making an effort for a night out (which is perfectly fine) or you b) like to look like you don't like making an effort for a night out. But do you really think that wearing your four week old, grotty trackie bottoms is acceptable? Just throw on some jeans! Yes, it probably is super comfy and I envy you for that, but it's grim. Trackies are for wearing in the comfort of your own home, where no one can see the Carling stain down the front. There's a special place in hell for those of you wear matching a matching tracksuit on a night out.

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Is this a legit look?

4. Wearing a perfectly decent shirt and then taking it off in Flares

You're a legend. 99 per cent of you are Agrics (or you're a hanger-on and just join in for the sake of it, like me), and you love any excuse to get some flesh out. It's a Wednesday, you've been to pres, filled yourself with trebles, and you've made your way to Flares. Suddenly, 'Country Roads' comes on, and you know now is your time. Born for this moment, you rip your shirt off and swing it above your heads. But think about all those other poor people who don't join in…they don't want your sweaty, hairy chest in their face and they defo don't want to be knocked out by your boobs.

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Country roooads, take me HOMMME (maybe just go home?)

5. Heels

There's two types of women in the world – those who can walk in heels, and those who think they can. If you're the latter, then read this carefully. There is no point!! Just give up now, whilst you're ahead! It's just really not worth the hassle…tottering down the street, stopping every five minutes and blisters the next morning…what's the point?! Stop spending £35 on a pair of glittery stilettos and go and invest in some trusty trainers. Trainers: the ultimate friends who never let you down and always keep you comfy.

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Sitting down because they can't hack the heels

6. Tops that show off your underboob

If anyone actually knows why this has become a thing, please let me know. Whether you're a 3/10 or Beyonce, NO ONE looks good in these. Literally, what is the fucking point?! Some people wear them on top of a normal top, some just wear them by themselves. Either way, they look ridiculous. Cleavage is nearly always a good thing, but underboob is never a good thing. Also, what happens if you jump up and down too enthusiastically?! Do you just…come free?

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Dangerously close to showing off some underboob

7. Bucket hats

You're not eight and you're not in Benidorm. Just because everyone at Glastonbury wore one last year doesn't mean you need to wear one now.

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8. Your rucksack

Handy for you, but not for everyone else. You've probably just come straight from the library, called in at Blanc for a couple of pints and then accidentally landed in Soho. You're going to be stood at the bar ordering a treble, taking up space and knocking people out whenever you turn round. You are the reason why trebles are spilt. And if you haven't been to the library, what are you doing?! Are you just extra prepared for a one night stand? Are you actually carrying round your toothbrush, make up wipes, spare underwear and a change of clothes?? It's not necessary, and I don't want to be reminded about the library when I'm drinking trebles!!!

9. Sunglasses

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Guilty as charged

Are you in Magaluf? Is the sun shining too brightly? It's February, it gets dark at 6pm, at no point in the day do you need sunglasses.

10. Bobbly hats

Where the hell do you think you are? It may be cold up North, but it definitely isn't sub-zero. Surely the only thing you get is sweaty? Never mind wearing a jumper and getting a bit too sweaty in Soho, your head must be hotter than the Sahara.

Photo credits: Rob and Ayeconic Events (Bijoux), Featured Image: Aaron Shaquille Carlton (Swingers)