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Why Kuda in York is the best and worst club in the UK

Why we hate to love it


We may have over 365 pubs to cater for your every alcoholic need, but York has only a handful of clubs actually worth going to, and KUDA is one of them. You slag it off to everyone and anyone and it's the place you always promise you'll never go on a night out, but lo and behold, you end up. It's grimy, grotty, and full of sweaty 18 year olds or handsy 60 year olds, but there's nowhere quite like it.

If you've never found yourself on the dance floor then head on over, and grab yourself a mini bottle of wine whilst you're at it.

You know everyone there

You've been reunited with your mates for the Easter holidays and you've drunk your trebles in Yates. You've skipped up the hill and queued next to the York Dungeons for 20 minutes, and paid your £5 entry. You're dancing next to the DJ booth, then look across and spy everyone you ever went school with. The year below you, three years above you, everyone. There's no escape for them, so the least you can do is pretend your best friends for the next half an hour.

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Even the wallpaper is classy asf

The main dance floor

There's a 99 per cent chance that you know the DJ, so you'll push your way through all the sweaty men and request 'House Every Weekend'. You can pull out your best dance moves with your friends to the shit tunes – what's not to love?!

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There's so many balconies

Lost your mates? Can't find your way through all the people? All you have to do is head up the stairs to the balcony, where you get a stunning few of the dance floor. Sit and sip your vodka lemonade, have a little sit down, and then go reunite yourself with your pals.

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DJ Dom are u readaaaaay

Dance to Queen B in the Tiki bar

If you're bored of the shit house music that's been playing for the past three hours, just go downstairs to the Tiki bar. With tunes ranging from 'Crazy in Love' to 'The Macarena', it's the best place to be if you really want a groove. There's also a giant campervan to sit in, a.k.a the place to have a D.M.C with your sobbing bestie. Plus, it's only open on Friday and Saturday nights, so you know it's truly amazing.

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Kem's no.1 fan

It's celeb central

We had Love Island's Kem AND Dom!! We had Charlie Sloth!! Adam Thomas? Gaz from Geordie Shore? For some fucking weird reason we had Steve McFadden. So if you want to meet a Z-list celebrity and get a cringe-worthy photo with them then you know where to go.

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Where else has Steve McFadden??


As if you need another selling point for Kuda, they used to host underage clubbing nights. The highlight of finishing school for the weekend was going to New Look and buying some new pink leggings, getting ready at your friend's house and heading to Kuda to drink J2O and be surrounded by sweaty 12 year olds. Bring back G2G, Year 7s don't know what they're missing out on.

Photo credit: Bradlo Media