We ranked the best jelly snakes in the Toon, by length, girth and head
It’s not always the size that matters
You can hear them whisper "treat yourself", as they look up at you while you’re buying your mixer before pres. You can hear them yell "dunk me in your treb", as you buy your cigs before hitting Soho. They are the biggest temptation for a sweet tooth.
But where sells the ultimate jelly snake? We have scoured the corner shops of Newcastle to get this competition up and running.
R and K’s, Jesmond
Length: 5/10
Girth: 5/10
Head: 7/10
We suspect Mr R and K forgot to keep the lid on his snakes. These were a little tough, but on the plus side they have a decent head. Shopper experience was top notch though – you can always count on the TV being on, so you can be entertained as you eye up the best snake.
Overall Satisfaction Rating: 6/10
North Terrace, Spital Tongues
Length: 9/10
Girth: 8/10
Head: 8/10
Everyone should check out these big boys. Being close to the gym, they are perfect for that post workout snack. Slightly more expensive, priced at 30p but you get your money’s worth. However a little bit sickly, showing it’s not always the size that matters.
Overall Satisfaction Rating : 7/10
Londis, Clayton Park Square
Length: 7/10
Girth: 6/10
Head: 6/10
Londis snakes should come with a warning: "Only buy if you prefer them hard". Georgia Mulraine, a second year English Literature student told The Tab: “These jelly snakes always slip down nicely, despite their chewy texture”.
Overall Satisfaction rating: 6/10
Jesmond Village Store
Length: 8/10
Girth: 8/10
Head: 9/10
Another Chunky Monkey. Jesmond Village Store is giving North Terrace a run for its money. However their accessibility lets them down, these snakes must be shy, hiding behind the Liquorice All Sorts. Maybe they are conscious of their weight?
Overall Satisfaction Rating: 8/10
Quayside News a.k.a The 24 Hour Sweet Shop
Length: 7/10
Girth: 7/10
Head: 7/10
A solid all-rounder. If these snakes were Olympians, they would be Pentathletes. Found bang in the city centre (opposite Soho), Quayside News snakes are all about having a good time, giving them their cutting edge. Rumour has it they taste best after being dunked in a blueberry treble. But you might have to try that for yourself…
Overall Satisfaction Rating : 9/10