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There’s a special place in hell for people who steal your hard-earned library seat

Back off, bitch


Picture the scene: it's the beginning of second year and you walk into the library. You need a seat and finally, after minutes of trying and testing, you find the perfect seat. It has the ideal proximity to the toilet (not too close but not too far), the right distance away from any computers so you can print things off, and the light and temperature are spot on.

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One year later and you have been relentlessly sweating away at this very same desk. You get there at 9am and leave at 8pm. You are chained to that desk, and the only times you leave are to go to the toilet or buy another coffee. Come exam season and you find yourself arriving an hour earlier than normal so that no-one steals your seat. The library basically becomes your home, and your seat is your bed, your desk is littered with empty crisp packets and there are chargers EVERYWHERE. And slowly, over time, you being to realise that you appear to have formed an emotional attachment to your library seat.

But then one day you walk in and get to your seat, only to find that someone is sat in it already…what?! Where your laptop was, their laptop is. Where your coat was, their coat is. Eventually you have to find a different, shitter seat. (Shudder if you've had to migrate to the Third Floor…)

She bloody loves her seat

You've seen the perpatrators in action . They swan in and scan around the room to check that no one is watching them, and then they slide into the seat, carefully placing their possessions on the desk and smugly making themselves at home. They're clearly only out for one thing: to sabotage you and ruin your intimate relationship with your library seat. We must stop at nothing to defeat these people.

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But why are we so protective over our library seat?

Because in our heads we have found a location where we work best. We are comfortable and in familiar territory (much like being in bed but without the comfort), and we don't need to waste any time settling in. If we were to choose a new seat each time, you'd waste at least an hour getting yourself settled in. Because you spend so much time in that one seat, the idea of someone else getting comfy in it physically pains you.

So, if you are that person who strolls in and steals someone's precious seat – you are the worst form of human. Straight to hell for you. Think about where you're going to sit next time in the library, because if you're not careful you could mess up someones studying, and potentially their degree.

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