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What is the stereotype of your Newcastle halls?

Sorry if you’re in St Mary’s


Whatever halls you live in, you will undoubtedly have a reputation and you probably live up to it, whether you're aware of it or not. But the question is, what does everyone think about your halls?

Castle Leazes

'It's a shithole but I love it.'

Are you even in Castle Leazes if you haven’t a) had a gap year b) gone to private school or c) had daddy pay for everything? You came to uni wearing chinos but one week in and you're floating around in your pants you bought in Vietnam, a cig in one hand and phone in the other, trying to find a ticket for Cirque on Leazes Ticket Exchange. With 1,154 rooms, its obvious as to why Leazes is the most sociable halls (pretty sure Kensington Terrace couldn't hold a pres for 600 people) – it's crap but lives up to its reputation. Within twenty minutes of being there you have found your clique for life, you're going to dinner and breakfast together during the day and hitting up Cosmic at night. With rumours of sniffer dogs patrolling the halls and the amount of toilet paper provided on a severe decline, from the outside Leazes seems the place to go for pres but not to live. Nonetheless, what’s not to love about the £150 fine for vaping in your room??

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Leazes for life

Kensington Terrace

Despite being amazing, you're not really the envy of anybody. With only 99 rooms, Kensington Terrace isn't exactly seen as the social hub of Newcastle. You're a little bit of a trek, no one can really be arsed to visit you, so you end up just migrating somewhere else.

The View

You know which side your bread is buttered. You live a life of luxury and don't have time for bog-standard student accommodation when you could basically live in a hotel. At £134 a week and self-catered, you're paying a lot for an average social life. On the plus side, you're the envy of everyone in Castle Leazes. Your luxurious common rooms mean that you can all sit together and compare en-suites, whilst the peasants in Leazes have to text each other from their shoebox rooms.

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Posh pres

Park Terrace

Congratulations! You have managed to get the halls which is within spitting distance of your lectures. You can role out of bed at 9.55am and be early for your 10am. You admittedly have a social life but you mainly came to uni to learn, not for the life experience. You live a life of luxury but there's a reason nobody comes to you for pres; you may be close to town and uni, but everyone lives in fear of your pristine flat with its flat screen TV.

St Mary's College

Where actually are you? No one really knows. Do you know? You might as well be in Scotland.

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You look OK out there, but are you really OK?

Marris House

'You will never live up to the reputation of Leazes and Ricky folk.'

Hidden behind the gym, just because you live near the graveyard of Ricky Road, it doesn't mean you're as good. You're not very dramatic people and keep yourself to yourself, this might however have something to do with the fact that you're quite low in numbers and therefore there's not enough people to gossip about you. You frown upon Leazes from across the cow field, they're rowdier than you, they're posher than you, but you can still go out and have a good time.

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NB: UV lights do not come with Marris flats

Leazes Parade

You're a bit like Leazes, you're a bit not. You get all the glory of the name, but not the glory of the social life.

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You gave it your best shot


You're nicer than the majority of hotels, and you are proud. You probably have all your files organised along your desk in colour order and you actually do your washing more than once a month. You skip into your 9ams with a spring in your step, you've packed your lunch in a tupperware and tonight you're going home to watch 'Planet Earth' and have an early night. Are you really doing uni properly if you have a gym and a cinema room in your halls? You're also really pissed that you didn't make it to Cosmpolitan's best university halls in the UK (but Park Terrace did?!?!).