Everything that happens at Digi Mondays each week

It’s Sunday, the thought of Monday approaching feels like that of a dagger to the heart. The following day you arrive at the seminar that you loathe, you sit absently and wish you were still deep asleep, then the day takes a turn, your phone vibrates and you open it to reveal a message in the group chat from your course mates: “Digi?”

You send the GIF of Squidward dabbing on a carnival float, no other response is required.  Your heart races, the pain of the initial dagger is overcome and you begin planning your cheeky number for the evening.

Pres begin

They’re in your flat, the tunes are good but let’s face it they won’t beat the ones you’ll hear later.

You all agree to leave early

The disco light flashes, time isn’t going fast enough, you make the executive decision to leave early to maximise the night.

The piggy bank is raided

80 pence is retrieved in coppers, and you head out into the Toon.

You will buy both VKs and shots because Monday

You arrive, Digi hasn’t yet hit it’s optimum capacity so you head to the bar, VK’s in every colour of the rainbow, you buy four to beat the rush later. Your friend orders shots, you know full well you’re a lightweight but with the thought of the long week ahead of you, you proceed to down the shots like the session warrior you are. Cheapest drinks on the Toon on a Monday.

The introduction to “Dancing in the Moonlight” echoes behind you

Screaming like the inner white girl you are you run to the main floor, the floor fills, the smoke fires from the cannons and the shots begin to take influence.

Digi is where new friendships are born

You’ve broken the seal too early

With the realisation that you’ve broken the seal you decide to manoeuvre through the crowd to the toilet, but oh god no you can’t go alone at the risk that you’ll never be reunited with your mates again, or similarly the risk that you’ll be attacked by a mythical creature in the toilet.

So, you take everyone you’ve ever met into your cubicle

And take some shameless selfies, assisting that friend who always thinks a bodysuit is a good idea.

You head out of the cubicle in a train formation

Your drunk friend decides that the lollipops should be free and attempts to steal one from the lady by the door, this, as usual, doesn’t end well, so the lady yells and you flee.

You get distracted on your way out to the smoking area

You head back to the dance floor, your indie friend hears Tame Impala in the distance and drags you to the smaller room next to that of the smoking terrace.

You’ll get a picture with THE sign

You say hi to someone in your seminar as if they’re your best friend

You follow obediently and stay for a while, yet you spot Dave* from your seminar who you’ve never actually spoken to, appearing to be lost on the stairs. Now seems like a great time to introduce yourself, you approach and find yourself moments later on the bottom floor mid crowd alone with Dave.

He makes a move on you

You don’t exactly resist the temptation, mid kiss you hear a distant scream, you pull back and your heart races. Mr Brightside blasts through the speakers.

And obviously everyone screams along

The voices of however many hundred students echo across the room, you run up onto the side stage and scream the lyrics to the sweaty strangers below you.

You lost Dave

You probably ran away, but fuck Dave now this is your moment.

You sing loud enough to wake up your housemate who didn’t come out

The smoke, the lights, the photographer, your arms raise and you scream the lyrics at the top of your voice, at a volume so the friends who refused to come out tonight are woken from their peaceful sleep.

You see your coursemates you lost earlier in the distance

You serenade them from afar. You feel infinite, your feet are stuck to the floor by cheap doubles and Jägerbombs yet you continue to bounce like gravity is only a concept and you wish, just wish that this moment would last forever.

The real question is, why would you even consider spending your night in an everlasting queue to get let into Trop (a sweaty box full of Leazes Rahs), when you can experience all of this at Digis?