Fire alarms, awkward run-ins and other things I won’t miss about halls

Is a sofa too much to ask

As summer dawns the time comes for many freshers to move up in the world and move out of halls. Love them or hate them you’ve probably made some great memories, however, it has its downfalls.

Here’s why we are looking forward to moving into second year suburbia and why we won’t miss halls.

The infamous Castle Sleazes

Every halls, however nice, is pretty much a prison 

With rooms that are the size of boxes for the past year you’ve pretty much lived in an institutionalised cell. Second year brings the promise of coveted double beds and having an actual sofa that most halls lack: let’s face it pretty much every day is spent in bed. Let’s not forget the strict rules and security poised perfectly to shutdown every perfect after party. As first year Hamish put it ‘living in Leazes is essentially 30 weeks of telling yourself that prison conditions are liberating and the remainder of the term dreaming of Jesmond’. 

Legit a prison

Halls are almost too social 

You can’t escape from preying eyes whilst wandering through the corridors. Who wants to bump into that one night stand from freshers week whilst still wearing last nights makeup? Freshers live in fear of walking around corners and coming across a group of people that you really just don’t want to speak to. Fake smiles and fake hellos are hopefully something of the past. As well as the classic we’re not friends phrase of ‘you going out tonight?’ do either of you actually care?

Drama and gossip

With so many students living in one area, obviously drama ensues. In halls your private life is never truly yours or private, it becomes the business of every other first year living in that proximity. ‘Are you seeing each other then?’ or ‘did you really drop in Flares?’ are constant questions that echo through the walls of student halls.

Lift selfies are so last year

Yes your halls has a lift, yes your taking a photo in that lift, well done.

Its just a lift

Communal washing machines 

Having to buy a washing token in the first place is an inconvenience and finding the correct change for the dryer is even more annoying. The most frustrating part: when the washing machine swallows your token or it doesn’t work, meaning you have to pay all over again. Next year it will be a dream to easily put on a wash and not have to sweat profusely in a hot, noisy room while showcasing your dirty washing to fellow students.

Catered food in catered halls

After a year of tasteless food and carbohydrate overloads, catered food becomes a bit boring. Second year will mean being able to choose meal times and eat what you want when you want, also hopefully loosing those fresher pounds. You really should be able to have more than one helping and two puddings if you so desire. 

Never again will you eat a meal that looks so yellow or orange…


A lot of people luck out with their flatmates, but a lot of people get a shitty deal. In general not choosing your flatmates can take a turn for the worse. Problems such as unwashed dishes and the aroma of weed will push some first years to the edge. Not to mention hearing your flatmates sexual endeavours in explicit detail, its like living int the Geordie Shore house. Those with shared bathrooms have to deal with hair in the plug, vomit on the walls and certain uncomfortable experiences that hopefully in your own house won’t be so common. 

Well played BNOC Bee…all about the sass

Food thieves 

In communal living spaces it goes without saying that you share with your flatmates and when it comes to food you borrow a bit of this or loan a bit of that. If a bit of your milk or a teabag or two goes missing every once in a while, who’s going to bat an eyelid? Food thieves, however, take it to the next extreme. When full packets of Parma ham, blocks of cheese and jugs of pesto seemingly walk out of your cupboards and fridges, that’s when you curse the establishment and people you live with. Thoughts turn to those who have crafty mini fridges in their rooms or to those who get exceptionally bad munchies. In reality, everyone secretly suspects each other and of course the flat group chat gets bitchy. Let’s hope the passive aggressive notes pinned on the door and inside the fridges from suspecting flatmates will cease next year.

Lack of a communal area

In many halls the lack of a communal area and the lack of a sofa are disgruntling issues that cause many a complaint. Yes, next year we can have proper pres, or even house parties, not fifteen people crammed into a tiny room pretending to have fun. At the time it is fun, its first year, it’s halls and we love it. By now though the novelty has sort of worn off, don’t you think?

Class first year pres

Fire alarms 

The absolute worst thing in the whole entire world. Why does it always have to be raining?