What it’s really like living in Jesmond

Why would you live anywhere else?

Jesmond may be well known for it’s affluence – probably because there’s a Waitrose right next to Jules B. But the amount of students living in Jesmond means it takes on a whole new image during term-time.

Forget upper class locals; during the week Jesmond is a student bubble of fancy dress and empty bottles of vodka lining the streets. It’s the student suburbia of Newcastle, and there are so many reasons why living in Heaton or Sandyford just isn’t the same.

In Jesmond, it’s completely OK to wear pyjamas to Tesco…

After making the decision to sack off uni and avoid the library at all costs, it would make no sense to bother getting dressed just to go to the shops. Luckily for Jesmond residents, a onesie and flip-flops is a completely acceptable outfit for this walk of shame.

…but you will obviously run into everyone you’ve ever met

Tesco is the Jesmond equivalent of the Robbo. Just like no-one’s actually on the second floor of the library in order to work, Tesco is less for shopping and more for socialising. Any student from Jesmond is well prepared for that chat in the fruit and veg aisle about whether they’ll be at pres later, or that awkward nod with a ONS who’s queuing in front for the self-service.

Everyone’s local is on Osborne Road, and you’ll rarely go to a different bar

A Jesmond student can recite the happy hour deals of any given bar on Osborne Road, and it’s been so long that they can’t imagine life without Two for Tuesdays. The suggestion of ‘going for bevs somewhere on Osborne Road’, translates as getting absolutely pissed in the exact same bar as every other night – whether it’s Blanc, Osbornes or Spy.

These students will be loyal to one bar only; whether that means they’ll risk Spy’s Full Price option during Happy Hour, or walk the extra distance to Blanc every time. They made their choice of where to drink in Freshers’ Week, and they’ll stick to it for their entire Jesmond residency.

You’ll be familiar with the Waitrose vs Tesco debate, and Sainsbury’s just won’t get a look in

Forget being a Tory or Labour supporter, Jesmond politics is all about where one does their weekly shop. Jesmond Tesco might be rumoured to be the priciest in the UK, but shopping at Waitrose is the real way to make a statement in Jesmond: you’re either Southern, loaded or trying to buy something really obscure. Sainsbury’s Local just doesn’t really come in to the equation yet; you might have popped in off the West Jesmond Metro, or when it was after 4pm on a Sunday, but it’s just not part of the supermarket argument just yet.

Anything over 10 degrees is an excuse to sunbathe

Jesmond even has its own filter

Window ledges, roof tops, fire escapes: Tyneside flats might mean there’s not much garden space – it’s not like Newcastle gets enough sun for you to need it. But that doesn’t stop a Jesmond student from finding somewhere to sunbathe when they need to.

Osborne road is guaranteed to be packed on the sunniest day of the year, but who needs a beer garden when you have a disposable BBQ, a crate of Fosters and a front step. Simply moving a sofa out onto the street means you’re sorted for an afternoon of beers with the lads, and disapproving looks from actual Geordie residents.

Any excuse is an excuse to eat out

Have you not heard that Francessca’s do half pizza/half pasta? With litres of wine, and half price burgers on almost every street, Jesmond students will double in size by the end of the year. Overdrafts were clearly not meant for renting these London-priced maisonettes, they’re much better being spent on the biggest portion of Carbs you have ever seen.

Food so Instagram worthy

If it’s more than a 3 minute walk, it’s a trek

Having everything you could ever need in Jesmond is the best and worst thing about living in Jesmond. As handy as Jesmond village may be, it also leads to housing the laziest of Newcastle students. Gone are the days where your Fresher-self could leg it across the Leazes cow field to a 9am – in Jesmond even Osborne Road to West Jesmond seems to take forever. A twenty minute walk to campus is enough to put anyone off going to a lecture, so don’t even kid yourself that you won’t need a Metro pass.