Snapchat stories are the bane of modern times

I’ve found myself in a day and age where I no longer need to actually go to a club to experience booming bass and bright lights.

I can even still watch my mates throwing dirty shapes with pupils the size of a no. 8 snooker ball and clenched jaws. But where am I? I’m in bed, on my phone, on Snapchat.

I’m sure all your contacts are really appreciating this fascinating insight into your night

I am wasting far too many valuable seconds of my life watching people’s Snapchat stories, that aren’t even funny, or mildly entertaining. Of course, a lot are amusing, but there’s a minority out there who struggle to gain some chuckles for their daily story.

Perhaps we all have an unknown desire to be on a reality TV show, and therefore Snapchatting our daily life is the closest to it. But in reality, even Channel 4 aren’t interested in what our hungover fry up looks like, or a picture of two faces swapped.

Just eat it.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of Snapchat stories are mega lol and I guess they are a good way to catch up on last night’s antics. Too often, however, they are pushing a minute long, with repeated shaky filming of the club floor and of a DJ who’s name you can never remember.

Our conversations the morning after on WhatsApp would be that much more interesting if we didn’t already know the events of the night before. The time has come to stop filming our nights out (and increasing each others FOMO), but to simply relish being with our mates, because surely in the end, the only people who care about which DJ I saw last night are the ones who were there too, right next to me. We’ve all forgotten that modesty is in fact far cooler than being ostentatious.

Can anyone actually see Len Faki?

Call me bitter, and you can say I suffer from FOMO, which yeah I do (don’t we all?), but going through my phone when I’ve just woken up and being blasted by heavy beats and then simply a selfie with the dog filter doesn’t give me any desire to get out of bed and start a new day. So, before you whip your phone out in the cloob, ask yourself the question, does anyone actually care?