How to fit in at Rahstle Leazes

It’s all about the freshly baked Smartie cookies

With 1,500 of us living in Leazes it can be a daunting place. So here’s a step by step guide at how to fit in in Rah-sle Leazes.

Dress not to impress 

Leazes folk dress more on the shabby side of chic, as a recent Yik Yak wrote: “Castle Leazes, where the people who look homeless are the ones with the richest parents.” The aim of the game is not to look like your trying, with ‘I just woke up like this’ taken to the extreme.

Girls wear puffa jackets and clothes acquired on their gap-yahs. Two French plaits and a bum bag, screaming that they take drugs (or want you to think they do). The new style item every Leazes girl should wear seems to be patterned flares with a pink furry pom pom scarf.

Boys don’t leave your rooms without that backwards cap and ex-public school trackies slung around your knees. Keep your ‘cigs’ behind your ears to let everyone know you smoke and channel Meth head vibes.

What to study…

Geography, business management and agriculture seem to be the favourites. Make sure you never walk to lectures alone, the cool thing to do is wait for your crew by the blue gates. Whether it be the bald brigade of Agrics after a messy initiation getting your head shaved or the thirty thousand geographers sporting their Kanken backpacks and colouring pencils.

Hang out in the computer cluster

Go to the computer cluster, but never to work of course. This is a social hub usually filled with rahs and geographers discussing last night’s antics. Of course when you need your nicotine fix the designated smoking area is conveniently right outside.

Go to the shop

Despite the shop being overpriced its all about them freshly baked Smartie cookies.

Go to the dining room at 6pm

Being the only catered halls dinner time is a crucial one. For many its the only place to be seen and the main social activity of the day. A great spot for people watching and clique watching the dining room is a wonder to behold. 6pm is prime time dining and make sure you wait for your mates at the bottom of the stairs. After dinner head to the smoking areas with your pre-rolled cig. Anyone got a rizzla?

Bring your car

Do you have a Landrover or a Polo, why not bring them to uni? Extremely useful for that 7 o’clock trip to Londis.

Pre in Farne

Farne is the pre drinking block. Christened the “best place to pre” in Freshers, Leazes never looked back. Where are pres? Its always Farne just floor one, two or three that is the question. Booming music, lights turned low and smoky rooms are a glow.

Only go to StageOne Events

Were you even out if you didn’t go Soho then a StageOne event? Unless you want exercise for your jaw and glitter on your face, then its a ticketed event in Digi. Trop, Playground, Swingers, Feral and Boombox what else could you need? Sadly MSA and Cosmic Tuesdays do not make The Cut. Every other person will ask you on their guest lists for StageOne events and claim to get you free vodka.

Leazes bar

At the weekend if you didn’t retreat to your estate in the country, then head to Leazes bar for toasties, a pint and the footy. Maybe branch out and play a bit of poole. Lads, lads, lads.