My night vending in Leazes

It means standing by the vending machines trying to bring someone home


Contrary to the Urban Dictionary definition vending is not “hot Asian man”, but in fact an age-old practice in Castle Leazes Halls of getting laid.

Vending is an art form pioneered through the ages by Leazes inhabitants. It involves gathering at the halls vending machines – a midpoint between the three blocks of Freemans, Havelock and Eustace Percy – after a night out, in search of a suitable match.

After a particularly lively night at Feral me and a friend decided to try this out, and found it surprisingly to our liking.

We sat for an hour and a half eating Kettle Chips and watching the world go by. It turned out to be a very interesting night.

Let’s go vending, I wanna go vending with you, all night vending

It was a great night of people watching: every group of people wandering past our table brought us new stories and had a different tale to tell. It’s also a great alternative to the awkward, squished after-party in a dark, small, boxed room where you can’t hear or see anyone. Instead, people come to you.

The first groups were those meandering their way back from Feral. Wending their way around the corner and corridors we could hear the voices and laughter of our next group of prey before they reached us. Giggly and exuberant from a night full of fun, they brought great entertainment to our vending area. Couples began to walk past us, intertwined and leaning on each other (maybe a little too much). They did not stop to chat and moved speedily on to the next activity of their evening.

One group stayed with us for a while and also enjoyed the vending experience. They, as did others, donated us food. These chips apparently came from a “Greek King” in Magic Flame and we demolished the curry sauce, always acceptable in this frame of mind. We found it also to be a great place to eavesdrop on the gossip of those in reception, who were drunkenly shouting just around the corner.

Next to come down Leazes hallowed halls were those on their way back from the heavier ticketed event of the night. Still gyrating to the silent music pounding in their heads, they rushed through in hard-core herds looking for the happening after party.

From a night full of vending I had bizarre, but fab evening. I left with the happiness of catching up with everyone and hearing tales of their night.

The seediness of vending of the past has long disappeared and turned into something more friendly. Everyone was so happy, giving us free food and stopping to chat before going their separate ways. I’ll definitely be doing it again, and encourage everyone to pitch up at the machines and have a chillax. No sex involved, but still a sure good time.

Actually, anything could happen at this revolutionised vending.