A-Z of Newcastle’s club nights

Newcastle is notorious throughout the country for it’s wild nights out.

Picture this: you’ve had a treble too many so you stumble out of Soho. But where to next? This definitive guide will tell you what to expect in the Toon’s biggest clubs.

Club Trop @ House of Smith

For a standard night.

You always know you’re gonna have a good night at Trop. You’re always going to talk to people on your course you think you followed by regrets in your seminar the following morning. The smoking area is where it’s at.
More new pals in trop?

 

Tiger

For the sexually frustrated rugby player.

If you think you’re fun and ready to pull the White Room is where you go. You’ll have probably got with them all before though. A testament to the fact that it’s definitely possible to get with someone whilst wearing ridiculous fancy dress.

Digital

For those who enjoy being lost all night.

Award-winning Digital is the biggest club in the North, and doesn’t disappoint. I mean, after 11 VK’s even the thought of your seminar the next day might seem enticing (as long as you’re not too busy spewing up said drink). It doesn’t matter how long you charge your phone for before, it will die in Digi. Losing your friends follows, so you head to the bar for some more VK’s.

Bring a map, and don’t go to the toilet on your own – Digi is a labyrinth.

Cosmic Ballroom

Jaws r swinging.

While the name Ballroom is highly misleading, you’re more likely to bump into an entirely different Snow White here. If you haven’t made it to the coveted fan in front of the DJ fear not, the sweat dripping from the ceiling provides a welcome cooldown.

TupTup

For the dressy and the dressier.

Slated by many TupTup can actually prove to be a really good night – If you can avoid the stairs.

 

Swingers

For those who like to queue.

The best smoking area in the city, although the time it takes there from the entrance is probably the only time you’ll spend inside here, so a jumper is advised. If the sea of Ralph Lauren caps parts and you’re lucky enough to be photographed you’d better hope your makeup is on fleek – the camera doesn’t lie. At Swingers, your dreams of becoming a rah can come true with only a few minor wardrobe changes.

 

The Cut

For those who like throwing shapes.

If you’ve searched “tech house mix” on YouTube a few times, and you’re reppin’ a fresh new Nike sweater then The Cut is a great way to show your mates you’ve changed. Your fresh Air Force One’s will help you navigate the ridiculously steep stairs on the way out. Thursday and Friday nights are bangin’, and the narrow but cosy smoking area is Newcastle’s hidden gem.

Flares

For the cheesy Wotsits.

You’re the sort of person that secretly listens to the Glee album your gran got you last Christmas. You tell your flatmates you brought it up accidentally but they see the real you when you’re doing the Macarena on the light up dancefloor at 3am. It can only get worse from here; you’ll spend next year hiding from your dissertation in Pop World.

Powerhouse

For the dancing queens.

Nobody has ever had a bad night in the club that stays open until 5am. With its famous 99p entry on Mondays (before 12), if you haven’t been dragged here you haven’t lived. The podiums on the stage are there for you to get your sass on, but try not to stare at all the PVC leather.

Sam Welbourne 2^nd Year Architecture said: “I’ve only been here a few times but each time I go I love it more”.

 

WHQ

For the charity shop wanderer

You’re excited to venture somewhere slightly off the beaten track, and your legs start to tingle when you see that they’re giving away glitter at the door. Well, you hope the tingling is from excitement. An hour in and the ironic glitter on your face starts to lose its appeal and you’ll remember how long it took to get off last time.

 

 

O2 Academy

For when you want to mix with the polys.

Go to Dirty Pop to be surrounded by people who are still stuck reminiscing about school discos and glowsticks, try your best to hold down that last unnecessary WKD whilst on the Bouncy castle.

Robert Paddison, 3^rd Year Geography said: “Foam parties are a great way to ruin those new chinos mum picked out at Topman”.

SU

For when you can’t be arsed

With the DJ’s from Swingers and an eye catching DJ booth, the newly christened Boombox certainly sounds good. Full of both ends of the age spectrum, groups of excitable freshers are broken up by serious looking third years. You’re guaranteed to bump into at least three people you slept with in first year.