Eat4Less: Am I the only one unimpressed?

If you are what you eat then you might as well eat something good.

Eat4Less has made quite scene since its debut on Northumberland Street last week. And why wouldn’t it? It’s essentially free food.

You’re stripped of your dignity even before you have tucked into your vile sandwich. While walking to the back of the queue is bad enough, the ridicule you receive from foreign students taking snapchats of you is surely worse.

A fake phone call can dig one out of many awkward situations and this is certainly one. During, you have time to ponder what a stingy bastard you are and how salivating the idea of a Frankie & Tony’s sandwich or Grainger Market Pizza slice is.

I think a bridge over the street would make everything a lot less stressful?

Finally, you’re in the “restaurant”, although you could be in the queue for a piss at the football. Rooting around for a cold drink is hopeful at best, settle for lukewarm.

When you get to the counter, I hope by god you’ve made up your mind.

A jungle of indecision

If you can see this, you are in the firing line

After placing your order you don’t have long to observe the efficiency even Germans would be proud of. Don’t smile, joke around or even ask for ketchup.

One shaken customer was heard describing it as, “the most hostile place this side of Helmand province”.

Billy, a third-year, told the Tab: “It’s a classic example of a large chain putting local companies that can’t compete out of business.”

“I’d rather pay more for friendlier service and better quality food.”

In the end, however, Eat4Less is what it says on the tin. So after all the whinging and whining, I’ll be back tomorrow.