Girls, stop pretending to have a boyfriend and just say no

It’s really liberating to say no to shit you hate.

I’m talking about the seedy people in bars, that one drink too far. “No” should replace “sorry I have a boyfriend/girlfriend” in clubs: your own stance is enough.

My Freshers’ was just the same as most. I drank vodka on a Sunday afternoon and just like everyone else, I told myself I needed to “loosen up” to meet new people.

Fast forward eight hours and I am dressed as a pumpkin wandering up Ricky Road, hand in hand with one of my new block members. Circumstances happen I guess. Many will tell you that sleeping with your flat mates is a bad idea. And yes it is, but there’s no need to beat yourself up about it.

Girls, if you sleep with someone you are not a “slut”, “whore” or “easy”, just as you are if you’re male. It’s time to burn those words to the ground, give the middle finger to double standards.

And while we’re at it, we should improve one night stand etiquette. Be respectful to each other the next day and keeping the kiss and tell down to a minimum.

You might have seen a recent article about universities ignoring laddish culture. It was published after a survey of 2000 students by the NUS and it showed that a “quarter of those polled had experienced unwelcome sexual advances”.

Newcastle Uni is actually fantastic in terms of tackling lad culture on campus – last year there was the “Man Up” campaign which encouraged students to re-evaluate the idea of masculinity revolving around “drinking, sex, pack mentality” and often harassment.

But it’s still not perfect. You’ll probably still hear the lads regurgitating the same old sexist jokes this freshers’.

My advice on this matter is simple: grow up. If you have to make your own freshers’ week easier by making someone else’s harder then some serious self-reevaluation needs to happen.

Say yes and say no. There are literally hundreds of nightclubs, bars and parties that freshers’ week can offer you. Alcohol not your thing? I admire you, there are loads of brilliant events held during the day (whether you drink or not) such as ice skating, tours of the city, paint balling and so many more. Throw yourself into meeting new people, I promise you will not regret it. Say yes.

But as important as stepping out of your comfort zone is, there’s is a certain power in the word “no” this freshers’. As Lena Dunham says in “Girls”, “it’s really liberating to say no to shit you hate”.

We need to use the word “no” more. I’m talking about the seedy guys in bars, that one drink too far and the fact that no matter how hard you try, rock climbing just does not appeal to you.

We should say it instead of “sorry I have a boyfriend or girlfriend” in clubs – your own stance is enough. Know your limits and respect them. Say “no”.

I guess this article is less “feminist advice” and more common sense. Trust yourself to have an amazing time and believe in yourself enough to respect your own and other people’s boundaries.