On your bike mate: Newcastle uni security clamp down on parking for BIKES

Library security were spotted today dishing out parking fines to bikes.

In exam period, a time when fully grown men are known to be reduced to tears, it looks like uni staff have yet again set out to make our lives that little bit harder.

‘Justice’ is served

First, they took our milk.

1 cup of tea + (forced to buy) 1 (entire) pint of milk = calcium overdose

Then they punished for coffee, food, cigarette and toilet breaks exceeding fifteen minutes.

Damn those seductive cheesy beany paninis

Even napping has been ruled an offence.

The horror

Tom Jenkin, a fifth year Folk and Traditional Music student says the whole thing is just “wheely ridiculous”‘.

Charlie MacNaughton, a second-year History student, feels that this represents everything that the university is striving to achieve in these stressful times. The ruthless extortion of students of their every last penny. Basically, according to him, “The university is run by meanies. These deviant bureaucrats will find any way to snake us out of money.”