Who the Halal cares?

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past two weeks, you’ll no doubt have heard how Muslims are taking over the country by infiltrating Subway and Pizza Express. Last week The Tab exposed twelve top UK unis who’ve been neglecting to label their halal sourced food.

But what’s the problem with reading an animal a prayer while they’re unconscious?

The Daily Fail’s latest attempt at stirring up hatred (of which they did a bloody good job, going by my Facebook feed) was an attempt to smear halal meat as inhumane and create the illusion that these foreigners are not only taking our jobs but choosing what sandwiches we eat too – as nearly 200 Subways removed ham and pork from the menu to satisfy Muslim customers.

Halal slaughter sees animals have their throats slit before bleeding to death as they blessed with prayer. But do you really believe non-halal slaughterhouses are like the Hilton hotel? Regardless, Subway only uses animals that have been stunned before bleeding to death. So unless you have a problem with your meat being read a prayer whilst its unconscious, it doesn’t matter at all.

The pointless outrage that this has caused has led to a new debate, halal and food packaging, but again this doesn’t even matter. Some people have food allergies so the correlation between this being labelled and their lifespans is significantly positive… but is there anyone who would ever choose not to buy a pack of chicken because it had been blessed whilst it was unconscious?  The only argument for the labelling of halal on meat would be if it was killed in an inhumane manner such as not stunning the animal, which the RSPCA believes is animal cruelty. However, most of us still buy eggs from caged hens, even though we know that the hens lead short and shit lives, pumped up full of water and boxed in to conserve energy and fatten them up.

We spoke to a Subway owner in Yorkshire, who wishes to remain anonymous, and he claimed the Daily Mail’s article had cost him at least 15% in sales since the article was published. He confirmed that instead of Subway bowing to Muslim pressure like the papers would have you believe, stores that were removing ham and pork did so in order to attract more custom. A capitalist strategy to increase profits and nothing to do with Muslims taking away our culture.

He also mentioned how he had received hundreds of abusive comments on Facebook, with one muppet saying he was boycotting the store because he couldn’t get ham, even though 80% of the sandwiches the owner sells include bacon, ham, or pork.

The BNP were quick to jump on this and claim that halal is barbaric. However, like most things the BNP say, this is a load of bollocks. There is actually no difference between non-halal and halal methods apart from the reading of a prayer. Like benefit scroungers and illegal immigrants, the reality is actually very different. Any Subway that chose to get rid of ham and pork did so to make more money; as the potential increase of custom from local Muslim communities is high enough to offset a decline in custom that decide to boycott them. You don’t need a business degree to understand this. It just makes sense.

In short, if halal meat bothers you, then you’re an idiot.