How to be a rugby lad

Yearning to be one of THEM? Here’s exactly what it takes to be a rugby lad.


Wednesday socials mean one thing – sports teams in fancy dress pouring into Idols, stumbling out of Sam Jacks and flocking around The Gate, drinking Newcastle (almost) dry of vodka. Yet amongst all the chaos there is one team who never fails in getting spotted or perhaps heard… This is what one can expect of a true NURFC boy.

Muscles

‘What would Dwayne do?’ (WWDD) should be the motto. Think bench pressing, raw eggs and protein shakes galore. How else would they achieve their sculpted Hercules physiques?

Crazy suits

What better way to clothe the modern day Achilles than with the multi-coloured, mish-mash of prints that is the iconic rugby suit jacket? Inspired by Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, with a hint of Grandma’s curtains, it won’t be long until they hit the runways of Milan. Sorry Matalan*

Chants

In the (unlikely) event that the suits don’t receive the attention they deserve, the rugby boys like to ensure they are still the main attraction at Tiger’s Animal zoo with chants – even if that means sacrificing the eardrums of any unfortunate bystanders (some of which may reply with shouts of ‘What a flanker!’). If they have to deal with cauliflower ears, we can cope without any hearing, right? But perhaps earplugs are the best bet to drown out the booming lines of ‘The 40 Geordies.’

Drinking

Or maybe ‘downing’ would be a more appropriate term. Rugby, chugby -trebles, cider, you name it they’ll neck it faster than a pint of raw eggs. Solely responsible for the sales of their precious VK’s, the closing of Legends could have hit them hard so it’s a good job they can still rely on their trusty port to release their inner Paul Potts.

Reputation

Obviously playing the sport helps.

The combination of these four ingredients results in the creation of the notorious ‘rugby lad’, although unlike Frankenstein there are no screws keeping the players’ heads together (pre-scrum at least). And whilst carrying their bulging biceps and abs of steel around, they also carry their precious reputation. A reputation for causing carnage and downing drinks, it doesn’t take David Attenborough to spot this species. And just like everyone knows a Dave, it appears almost everyone will know of a rugby boy.

So now we know what it really takes to call yourself a rugby lad, although not many have the heart or the (ripped) stomach for it. But if you’re planning on going on a night out similar to these boys, it’s probably best to line your stomach first. Raw eggs anyone?