Easy ways to spot a private school boy

Rahs, toffs, mummy’s boys. Whatever their name, here is how to spot them.

Red trousers are appropriate in any situation

Motorbiking…

Chilling in the hospital…

Going to work in…

 Any word can be abbreviated

“Totes”, “bants”, “hilar”.  These are all classic examples of “abbrevies” used.  Sometimes they will refer to themselves as “ex-pub-sch”.

Kings Road comes into regular conversation

They They will mostly refer to it as the KR, talking about the “totes amaze”  time they had.  Then they will tell everyone about their favourite pub or restaurant.  If there is more than one private school person they will get onto the subject of Bluebird restaurant, which is often described as a “culinary wet dream”.

Their hair defies the law of gravity

Made in Chelsea will be on series link

From 10-11pm on a Monday they can never be found (unless they are preparing for Club Trop).  They are either watching it, or counting down the hours until it is back on TV-weeping that it isn’t on.  When MIC is on TV they will talk about how they once met Jamie outside Mahiki’s and how it was a “life changing experience”.

They are treated with a reverential respect that is usually only reserved for Royalty.

If it isn’t Apple it’s unbranded

Anything that Steve Jobs didn’t help create is considered worthless, and in many ways just a poor imitation of the real thing.

 They have a love of shooting

Obviously only shooting defenceless animals.  Shooting other people is for chavs on a council estate.

 They went on a gap year to find themselves

The existential awakening will happen when stoned in South-East Asia.  Or maybe “Perah” (Peru) Other may find themselves on the ski slopes of Meribel

They went to Magaluf

Having seen it on “Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents”, private school boys want to visit.  However, when they are out there they find themselves getting pushed around by skinheads who are unamused by their floppy hair and overbearing accents.