Confessions of a Fresher

Have you got something you need to tell us?

| UPDATED

Freshers’ week is over and with a distinct smell of regret and vomit still pervading the air, we decide to catch up with some freshers who have a few things they need to get off their chests.

Here are our top 7 fresher confessions:

1) Real life GTA.
1st year Geography Student, Castle Leazes

This cheeky fresher refused to be named and shamed for reasons about to be explained.

She told the Tab: “I was running from House of Smith and just sort of thought the cars would stop for me. They didn’t… Before I knew it, I’d been hit by a taxi. And then another car went into the back of it! It was carnage but my leg really bloody hurt so instead of getting help, I went straight to Bijoux to neck some trebles”.

 

2) Forgive me for I have sinned.
1
st year Politics student, Ricky Road

Coming in at number two on our list is a slightly  more promiscuous confession. It seems the Newcastle Fresher’s of 2013 aren’t going to be signing up for Songs of Praise any time soon. Think T – Pain might have to drag her ass back to church for that confession.

 

3) Rocky’s number one girl.
1st year business management student. Central Link

At number three we have our mystery female Rocky Balboa. She managed to get herself kicked out of TupTup for punching a male fresher in the face all because he didn’t have a lighter to give her. Our wonder woman then shamelessly went on to punch a Tup Tup bouncer when he tried to intervene. Safe to say the female boxing society have found their top Tyson this year!

 

4) Caught hook, line and sinker.
1st year history student. Castle Leazes

This cheeky fresher has found herself caught out already. Although she wouldn’t reveal her magic number, it seems one definitely left  their mark.

 

5)Newcastle’s most wanted.
1st year Medical student, Central Link
This confession had to be added to our list purely for comical reasons.

He told the tab : I left Chase with my treble… I didnt really think I was doing anything wrong – the policemen I bumped into outside seemed to think otherwise though. I was cautioned for theft.  They asked me to return it but I just chucked it in the Tyne and legged it”.

 

6) Line up ladies.
1st year chemical engineering student, Castle Leazes

Three isn’t a crowd for this stallion. He managed to have two threesomes within Freshers’ week!  Our Don Juan of Castle Leazes managed to bring two girls back on two different nights from Cosmic and the Student Union.
He told The Tab: “Well, sharing is caring.”

7)Murder on the dancefloor
1st year architecture student, Marris House

Finally, we have something that could only happen in Riverside. This fresher just couldn’t wait to take her knickers off and  resorted to a bit of fingering on the dance floor.  Don’t worry though, she told that Tab that they scored a home run back at Marris House.