Is This The One?

Sunday morning, CCTV hangover, need food and juice. We can just about excuse your decision to forgo fashion protocol and slip to the shops in your onesie.

You’ve probably spent the best part of your night curled round the u-bend of a stranger’s toilet and couldn’t find the energy needed to select an outfit from the pit of your bedroom floor.

So, we’ll look aside as you drag yourself down the aisles of Tesco like an overgrown baby, content in the knowledge you’ve safely made it out to get the nutrients your body so clearly needs. But we don’t care how comfortable it is or that your grandma lovingly bought you one to wear on Christmas day, it is NOT acceptable to wear a Onesie in public at any other time.

Surely not.

It has come to my attention that a growing number of one-piece suits have been marching around campus like an army of scruffy children.

No, you do not look cool sitting on Osborne Road sipping your vodka and coke and yes, when you look back at photos of university wondering why you’ve never married, you will regret this. Not only do they make you look like a shapeless sack, there can be nothing stylish about a garment that purposely makes it difficult to determine your gender.

Maybe you can pull it off?

You may well have seen the beautiful Cara Delavingne gracing your precious MailOnline in one but need I remind you she has walked in a Victoria’s Secret fashion show and you, my friend, have not.

Yet, despite the Onesies obvious fashion flaws it continues to be the item of choice for students across the UK. Perhaps I’m just not edgy enough to pull it off but for now I’ll stick to clothes that don’t make you look like you’ve left the house in your pyjamas. To quote lecturer Dr Peter Thompson, “will we all be going out wearing nappies next?”

What do you think, Onesie: Born to be wild or overgrown child?