See Who’s Right,
Forget milking, Jesmond’s students are already up to something else.
Ever had a dispute that can’t be settled?
From whose turn it is to boil the kettle, to which actor acted in which movie. Or more serious perhaps, like who the Gaza Strip belongs to? Well the answer has arrived: Lizard Fighting.
In one quick Lizard Fight your argument will be settled once and for all: Israel will end its war with Palestine and the kettle will be boiled.
But what is this glorious new sport? Well, have a look for yourself:
The streets of Newcastle will never be the same, as men and women alike don their loops to wage a tug of war against one another.
Fantastic stories have already begun to emerge as a result of the Newcastle born sport, however, on tour.
A few Newcastle Students decided to have a Lizard Fight on the streets on Edinburgh as they were there watching the Scotland vs South Africa game.
The police watched from a distance and seemed not to mind until South Africans began to exchange money as one Peter Chamberlain of Newcastle Uni began to call “Place your bets, five to one on Pass”.
So it seems that Lizard Fighting is not illegal, but illegal book taking is. Even once they came over to break it up, the Rozzers commented on the fact that it was a good couple of rounds. The boys present swear they were close to getting the two officers to fight each other. Watch the video here.
The sport has subsequently returned to its birth place, Newcastle.
As I walked through the Bigg Market only this Wednesday I saw several matches taking place, outside the gate and outside idols. In Idols! Some between Rugby players, one between two net ball girls, and another between two girls dressed as Avatars. All in all a great spectacle.
Most people accredit Lizard Fighting to Matthew Proctor, a simple, Northern Irish farmer by birth, an inventor of war-ending sports by grace of god.
Matt says: “Well, I just thought it would add to the rugby socials so I thought why not?” so Newcastle first saw Lizard Fighting in the back streets of Jesmond at one of the Uni Rugby house parties, but it has evolved since then.
Matt continues: “it started with belts around each other’s heads, but one of the belts broke and the buckle flew into one of the competitor’s face almost taking his teeth out, it was at that moment that we decided new equipment was needed. You can do it with whatever you want but Rugby socks seems to be our preference now.”
(At least I think that’s what he said, his accent is rather thick. To be honest he could have said anything.)
As a dentist I’m sure Matt wouldn’t have been best please to see a fellow rugby player lose his teeth.
So now you know not to be confused, but excited, when you see people on all fours grunting and sweating as they tug at each other.
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Happy Lizard Fighting my friends.