The worst kind of people

More nightclub related angst by the man who brought you ‘Promoters still immoral’

| UPDATED no spray no lay toilets women

Their habit is unnatural, unethical, sexist, unattractive and born out of deep rooted, evil-motivated penis envy.

I am of course talking about women who use the men’s toilets in nightclubs.

These presumptuous animals think that they can saunter in and use facilities provided for the male gender simply because the queue for the little girls room is “too long”. How about you get your friends to piss quicker? Because we have had enough.

It is not the fact that men require privacy, indeed if girls were popping into the men’s room to check out the size of our junk, then of course men would embrace this brave, liberating move from women.

The men’s room is not a secret place, other than discussions of the lavatory attendants demands to “wash your fingers for the mingers” and the fact that “no spray = no lay” (also translated as “no splash no gash”), there are no secrets. Men go in there, piss out of their dicks and leave.

Even if these toilet trips from women were a quick in and out, perhaps they wouldn’t enrage the male gender quite so much, but they aren’t. From what I understand these creatures come in, so ill-equipped they are unable to use a urinal, and head for the cubicles – normally reserved for large man poos and the consumption of cocaine – and believe me, for a woman there appears to be no such thing as a “quick piss”.

These sit-down-piss idiots take ages. I hate to break it to you, but more goes on in the cubicles than curling, and you can get pregnant on the wrong loo seat.

And what’s worse, they use toilet paper, which rightfully belongs to men AFTER A PISS. Talk about inefficiency and saving the rainforest.

I for one hardly ever go and take a massive shit in the ladies toilets, and when I do I get looked at like a weirdo.

I’m tired of seeing the queue for the men’s full of women who can’t hold their weak little bladders. If you want to use the men’s learn to use a urinal like the wonderful lady in the picture above.

Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever.