The Tab Tries: Shag at Uni

What ensued can only be described as a sausage-fest.

newcastle shag shag at uni

The inevitable sausage-fest.

Today, on behalf of The Tab I took my first foray into the seedy underbelly of University life (well, excluding Sinners.)

After the Oxford Tab’s article on the distinct lack of actual students at Oxford University registered on the no strings sex site I wondered if the situation was any better at Newcastle and judging by the state of my inbox there is a plethora of horny men.

I registered a profile, adding a (fake) name and age and sat back and watched for 10 minutes. With hardly any information on my profile there was two pages of inbox messages purely because it said I had a vagina.

Dirty pervs!

Now, firstly there’s the sensible bit, meeting people from the internet is pretty daft if you don’t know a thing about them and you’re meeting to put yourself in a vulnerable position. Be careful if you decide to indulge in the practice (always tell someone where you’re going, who you’re meeting and use protection!)

Secondly, I understand that this is an anonymous sex site, but where’s the romance? Surely after a night on the Toon there’s at least a couple of drinks in it. Though one charming fellow – his display picture clearly showing his pierced scrotum – offered me full body oral massage? Disturbing.

Another gentleman sent me 17 emails despite the fact every single one was met with an automatic rejection email due to my “inbox parameters”. He ended the conversation with an eloquent, “okay babe”.

After refreshing the inbox a few more times we’re now onto three pages. I haven’t replied to anything. However, I must say, most of these chaps are perfectly polite. The pushy ones all got auto responses from the site.

Only men’s members on the site

I have no idea what the female situation is on the site, it costs for men to join, (reports between £5 and £90), and I haven’t tried men seeking men or women seeking women just yet but I’m sure that you’ll be capable of doing your own research.

So gents, if you feel like barraging women in need of a shag with messages about your excellent ‘dicking’ skills then this is the place for you.

Ladies, as long as you can stand being accosted by one eyed monsters at every turn then you’ll be okay. (Unlike me, I doubt the image of “Big Gary’s” awkwardly angled over exposed – in both senses – anatomy will ever leave my memory.)