How does your Lockdown Love Life rank?
Making up, breaking up and everything in between
With the ongoing threat of COVID-19, the dating world faces an uncertain future, with hook-up culture as we know it taking a bigger blow than my waistline. This has resulted in a surge of users taking to dating apps in a desperate attempt to work out how to get some action without catching COVID.
However, these past three months spent in lockdown haven’t hindered ‘Hinge’ matches and if anything has encouraged the nation to change their attitude to sex and dating. Fallow’s fittest could be returning to Uni favouring an actual connection (shocker) over a quickie that you met in Abdul’s.
So here are 5 common Lockdown Love Life Habits and how they rank from best to worst:
When lockdown rolled around you weren’t that into commitment or maybe you were searching for ‘the one’ despite your unrealistically high standards. You’re a total catch but you just can’t be bothered wasting your time on the painstaking failure of nearly every ‘talking stage’. So? Your lockdown anthem has been the Tiktok sensation ‘Supalonely’ (I’ve been lonely ooh ahh) and you sing it loud and proud free from drama.
Whilst initially you may have found lockdown lonely (and likely harassing your pet on an hourly basis), unlike a lot of your peers, you spent your lockdown NOT stressing about your love life and now you’re reaping the rewards. As the country unlocks, you’re coming out care-free, listening to your friends grumble and break down about all their turbulent relationship dramas whilst frankly, you’re living your best life.
4. She Wanna Netflix and Chill
Before the pandemic you may have had the attitude that dating app culture ‘could never be you’, but in boredom and desperation you signed yourself up for all the classic culprits from ‘Bumble’ to ‘Grindr’. Maybe you managed to form a half decent connection with someone, since you both had so much free time to put into replying. If things went really well, your connection may have even evolved into sharing your favourite shows with each other via ‘Netflix Party’.
But let’s be real… as everything starts reopening, chances are that Ben from Bumble begins to seem a bit…boring? So, what are you waiting for? Pie them off- you can go to pubs now- no time for staying in chatting to someone that you’ve probably never had a real-life conversation with.
3. Not That Deep
You know that person you hooked up with a few times in first year? Who you regularly use as a reference for ill-informed drunk judgement? If, like me, you spent your first-year stumbling through clubs whilst trying to unsuccessfully find yourself, somewhere in between the lime, salt and tequila, then it’s highly likely you’ve encountered your own version of this person.
They’re perfectly nice, and chances are you do rate them as a person. But your goals just didn’t align when they wanted commitment and you just wanted to…well…just have a fun time in first year? Signs you know this person include multiple messages throughout the lockdown period asking ‘You up x’ or ‘How are you finding lockdown x’ despite you classing this person as an acquaintance at best and a misguided drunken mistake at worst. Minus points if you entertained them- shame on you.
2. Dancing on My Own
Lockdown has been impossible. Especially for the couples that met at Uni and spent their term time in each other’s pockets. Lockdown has been the biggest test- and there’s been a lot of fallen soldiers.
The strain of uncertainty, of distance, of having nothing to talk about except the weather and arguing constantly because ‘you miss each other’ has taken its toll on almost every couple in this boat. If the strain was too much and you didn’t last, then that’s okay. Lockdown probably consisted of a lot of crying, and a lot more frustration that clubs are a corona hot spot (forcing you to get over the breakup in a healthy way, rather than racking up a load of drunken mistakes you were guaranteed to regret). Use the remainder of summer to heal and grow and if it’s meant to be, then you’ll probably be brought back together in the Sainsbury’s meal deal section.
1. If the World was Ending, You’d Come Over…Right?
This one goes out to those who were emotionally vulnerable in the changing and uncertain state of the world. Who, despite the surreal panic at the prospect of a future without toilet paper, could only think of one person?
Queue your toxic ex, armed and ready to weasel back into your life, (which is frankly a hell of a lot better without them) with care and concern about how you’re coping during lockdown. If this is you, I understand. These have been scary and uncertain times for us all. Despite this, chances are when lockdown is lifted, they will not be coming over and your life is 100% better this way.
And for those of you in stable relationships, who had no issues during lockdown, that’s great for you- but no one cares (yes we’re salty)…