‘He rang his mum’: Fallow students share their worst experiences on a date

‘He was a Tory’


After taking applications on the group a few weeks back, FSG is set to premiere their ‘Blind Date Zoom’ gameshow this evening, where 4 girls will compete for a date with one lucky boy (and also the grand prize of one months rent). The full video comes out tonight at 6pm – and will be streamed on FSG and Fallowfield’s Finest page and can also be found here.

However, the fun has already started… We have an exclusive insight into some of the hilarious responses received through the survey and it’s definitely fair to say that they are all pure Fallow.

The question which gained these juicy responses was, ‘What is your worst experience on a date?’ Despite the applicants not having been successful in the competition, their responses are on point.

Here are the 20 weirdest, most hilarious and even pitiful Fallow student worst experiences on a date:

‘Tinder date started crying half way through and rang his mum’

Ouch.

 

‘A guy asked me what my lowest price would be for a shag’

‘I initially swiped right to him on Tinder because his bio said, “Love and respect woman”. HA yeah right buddy try again. Fool me once shame on you.’

There’s a reason we wrote an article about the 9 types of f*ckboys… 

 

‘Found out he was Tory’

Strong, straight to the point 10/10 Fallow response right there. 

 

‘Never been on one’

‘But my first boyfriend in primary school tried to break my arm because I stole his football’

Ah young love, I broke up with my year six boyfriend because he wanted to kiss on the lips and for my 11-year-old self that was taking things too fast. All I can say is how times change.

 

‘Probably going for drinks and ending up kissing a woman twice my age’

If she was as hot as JLo or Jennifer Anniston then fair do’s – no judgement here.

‘Girl once pissed herself on my hand’

How did you let this happen though?! 

 

‘One guy wrote my parents a letter and another told me Trump was a time traveller’

Truly baffling and also slightly terrifying.

 

‘Had a dull meal in Nando’s where he went on about his favourite maths problems’

‘Then we went for a walk, he attempted to give me a hand job on a park bench’

“Dull” meal in Nando’s?? I spy someone who can’t hack heat – and no lemon and herb does not count. 

‘A guy pointed out my tooth that sticks out a bit that I thought wasn’t that noticeable’

Sounds like you are much better off without him, what a d*ck.

 

‘My friends showed up in disguise and I laughed so hard I cried and got snot everywhere’

Wish my friends cared about me this much. No shame in the snot game. 

 

‘My date tried to pick my nose and eat it’

We have no words.

 

‘I had to drive half an hour to pick the guy up because he didn’t drive’

‘We went to Nando’s for our first date (I mean not complain gin, I love a cheeky Nando’s) but when we got there not only did he not pay but worst part, he got PLAIN spice on his chicken.

‘Safe to say there was not a second date.’

Plain is a disgrace, but as for him not paying, EQUALITY my friend, just cos’ you’re a woman, you shouldn’t expect or even want the guy to pay for it all.

 

‘The date went well, it was the fact I had to end it by jumping out her bedroom window’

We have so many questions right now… 

 

‘Need to experience a date to be able to answer’

After reading these, does the idea of a date really appeal anymore? Self love is the way to go. 

‘The guy turned up in white jeans and ballroom dancing shoes’

‘He then told the waiter what I wanted to eat and drink before I even opened my mouth.

‘He then made several penetration jokes when we did mini golf afterwards (hole in one etc.)’

Really started out thinking he would be a romantic gentleman, alas boys never fail to disappoint. 

 

‘Went for drinks at Haus and didn’t find out she was from Leeds until half an hour in’

Never knew Fallower’s had an issue with those from Leeds, but hey ho? 

 

‘Being taken to The Grand Central’

Enough said to be fair.

 

‘Went on a date, fancied the waiter more than my date and ended up getting her number instead’

Bit rude, but then again, the course of true love never did run smooth?

 

‘Only good ones bro’

Oh well lardy daaa, lucky you (yes we are bitter). 

 

‘She spilt a dark fruits all over me’

‘Then went to the bathroom and I accidentally sent her a snapchat meant for my mate saying ‘She split a drink on me’ – nightmare’

Accidental snapchats. It happens to the best of us.

To continue the entertainment, tune into the game show. FSG is set to premiere ‘Blind Date Zoom’ tonight at 6pm.

Related reading recommended by this writer:

To All the Boys I’ve F*cked Before

We asked Manc students for their worst night out stories, and wow they’re gross

Normal People showed how well all TV shows should handle consent