Things I’ve legitimately heard Manchester students say

Unlike most UK universities, Manchester does not have one stereotype. There is no umbrella under which we can be neatly placed, as much as we’d love to try here at The Tab.

However, when strolling through Fallowfield Sainsbury’s, riding the Magic Bus into uni, or having a chill in Antwerp’s smoking area, you hear conversations that could only happen in Manchester. Whether it’s drugs, money, music, or the general struggle of student life, we’ve all said things that we wish hadn’t been overheard.

The archetypal Fallowfield couple if ever there was one

People talking about the sesh

“I’m having a chilled one tonight, just a bit of coke.”

“I’m so over MD. When you start taking it at 14 the comedowns get too bad.”

“I don’t even know how I got through the ket drought of 2014.”

“You literally can’t go to Warehouse Project not on drugs, like what are you even there for?”

“I wasn’t even that fucked I’d only had two pills and some MXE.”

“My cousin went here and said that it’s sick cos everyone just gets fucked all the time.”

The class divide

“I feel like everyone is so accepting at Manchester. People don’t care that I’m wealthy, I can be just like everyone else.”

“I heard she went to boarding school so she’s probably a total bitch.”

“I’m from London. Well, Surrey, but I spend all my time chilling in North London I’m basically from Hackney.”

“I spent my whole student loan on coke but it’s fine, I told my parents I need more for books.”

People talking about music

“I’ve been DJing for ages, mate. I just really found my sound at uni.”

“Don’t talk to him, he still listens to house.”

“I’m a pretty relevant DJ in Fallowfield, I’ve done like four house parties.”

Nightlife

“The real reason it’s called Fifth is because it’s five times better than any other club.”

“I would literally never go to a night if I didn’t know who was DJing. I mean, that would be so embarrassing in the smoking area if someone asked me about the DJ and I was clueless. That’s like social suicide.”

“Oh did you buy a ticket for tonight? I know the DJ so it’s all good.”

“Let’s go Antwerp tonight… Oh hang on it’s sold out.”

Studying

“I haven’t been to uni for like two weeks, that’s not what I came to Manchester for.”

“I could have gone to Oxbridge but they don’t really do drugs there.”

“I can’t really get my work done without Modafinil.”