The US Election at Manchester Students’ Union

Of course that guy who had his Margaret Thatcher cut out decapitated was supporting Trump


If, somehow, you don’t know who won the presidential election, do yourself a favour: delete all social media, destroy any radio device or newspaper around you and move to Nepal.

If anyone, like me, found themselves up all night getting increasingly more depressed as the night wore on, I’d like to formally extend an invitation for a massive tea party and cuddle. I know I definitely need it.

Last night, I headed down to the SU with a load of other excited politically engaged students who were looking forward to watching an election that didn’t have anything to do with them and that surely the majority of them would be on the winning side of. I mean, the US election was a bit like Nicola Sturgeon going against a more racist, homophobic and sexist Lord Alan Sugar.

We also were promised food served until 2am, and the bar until 6am so we would be able to eat and drink our way through the early morning, cheering as the country elected it’s first female President. What could possibly go wrong?

1am

The place was absolutely packed, to the point they locked the doors and wouldn’t let anyone else in. Who said today’s youth are disillusioned with politics?

Everyone in there was excitedly chatting, laughing about the state that America had found themselves in and just conveniently ignoring the Brexit vote for the night. They also found it quite funny that there was a guy there who had spent actually money on a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat and a Star Spangled Banner, everyone rolling their eyes at him and his obviously attention-seeking get up. When I went up to him and asked for a comment, I was told The Tab was ‘drivel’. I then realised it was the guy from Conservative Futures, who had a bit of a cry after someone decapitated his favourite Maggie Thatcher cut-out.

Celebrating after a Trump win

2am

People started getting a bit worried, as it looked like Trump was going to win Florida, possibly the most vital state of the night. Although early polls suggested that Hilary Clinton was going to win Texas and that had to mean that even the most staunchly Republican states had realised how much of a twat Trump was.

Second year Chemical Engineering student James told me, “I’m half American, and I’ve convinced everyone I know to vote for Gary Johnson. He actually has the best policies.”

Although he did go on to say “But, fuck Donald Trump”.

I also had a chat with Manchester University’s Gen Sec, Naa Acquah, who was wearing a Trump 2016 campaign banner.

The banner is definitely ironic

She said, “I’m wearing a Donald Trump sign for the irony that this election in America is so ridiculous.”

After I had a few drinks, I managed to pluck up the courage to steal Mr. America’s Stars and Stripes, just for a picture of course. After I ran away with it, he started looking for it, stalking around the SU like a T-Rex in a stupid red hat so I decided to throw it back to his pro-Trump mates promptly.

3am

Donald Trump was projected wins in all the key states. He had the best odds to win. Wall Street was plummeting as they were sure he was going to win. Hilary had basically said she’d lost through a touching Instagram post.

Everyone was just getting a little tired and depressed. It wasn’t so funny anymore. Every time another state was declared for Trump, there was an incessant chant of “U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A” from the tiny pro-Trump portion of the room. People couldn’t even be bothered to tell them to piss off anymore.

It was confirmed that we would have a Republican House, Senate and Supreme Court. It wouldn’t have mattered if Clinton had won anyway, she wouldn’t have had any power.

4am

I, like a lot of others, decided to call it quits and watch the Trumpocalyspe unfold from the comfort of my own bed. If the end of the world was truly upon us, I at least wanted to be comfortable.