Every type of boy you’ll date in Manchester

We’ve all had a crack at the Manchester dating scene, so we know that guys here are fools for a good stereotype. Although some are more highly recommended than others, there is the definitive list of guys that you have dated, or will, in the Rainy City.

The wannabe DJ

Identifiable by his oversized headphones and decks in the bedroom, he probably chose Manchester for the music scene. These guys can come in all shapes, sizes and styles but the deeper they get into to the night life the more uniform they become: expect oversized tees and jeans.

The London boy

Despite the hoards of Mummy and Daddy’s money pouring into his bank account, this guy dons the same faded trackies and moth bitten top four days out of five and probably shares his house with about eight others-queue stereotypical student bathrooms and kitchens from hell. Studying Philosophy, Geography or Politics he’s not bad conversation, provided you can get past the smell since he’s not overly fond of showers either.

 The total jock

You’ll find him at nearly every AU social and if he’s not, there’s probably a pretty damn good reason why he’s had to bail. Probably lived in Oak House in first year, you’ll find him in his sports kit or at the very least some sort of athleisure clothing. He’ll study the likes of Politics, Economics or Engineering but he won’t be getting anything over a 2:1 as he’s mainly here for the sport.

The boy who only goes out in Squirrels

Since Fresher’s week he’s been hooked. Cheap drinks and familiar faces are his vices and if you question his choice of venue he’ll surely be equipped with a torrent of fairly good reasons of why it’s the place for him. Don’t expect any fancy dates, this one’s on a low budget or frugal at best.

The alternative night out fiend

The likes of 256 or Revs are definitely not his jam, instead he fully intends to make the most of the musically and culturally diverse nights out on offer in this fine city. He probably studies Drama or Philosophy- a slightly eccentric deep thinker. Dressed in edgy clothes of the darker variety, he’ll undoubtedly have an earring to complete the look.

The intellectual

Adorned with turtle neck and mentally challenging literature this guy is great if you’re in the mood for intellectual conversation, not so much if you simply wanted to binge watch some brain dead programme on Netflix. He’ll probably study History or English Lit and cycle into uni to maintain his stereotypically slender physique.

The fashion follower

Should you scroll through his Instagram feed it will be filled with luxury brands, male models and fashion bloggers. Evidently, he can be identified by his impeccable sense of style and possibly some more feminine articles of clothing. He’ll study Law or PPE, preparing in advance for the funds his fashion addiction will require. After all, a good wardrobe and grooming don’t come cheap.

The medic

A breed of their own, medics can be notoriously difficult to date. There’s the medic only nights out, the dodgy fancy dress, the long hours in uni and the fact that they’ll more than likely be in education for double the time you will. On the plus side, you’ll have the advantage in the case of a medical emergency.

The guy who deals drugs to fund his education

You might have me him in a club or found out at a later date, either way you know this guy is probably not a keeper. He claims he needs the cash for basics but you know where his funds really go. It’s unlikely he’ll ever have enough cash to take you out so don’t expect much. He works the baggy tees and jeans look but so does every other boy. These boys are often a pretty dirty lot, inhabiting the likes of Egerton Road or Ladybarn even in final year, so maybe suggest a shower before they come over.

The not-so-mature student

So he’s a little older than your peers, which means he should be more mature, right? Wrong. Chances are this fella is probably even worse, and you’ll soon find out when you’re ditched for Xbox with your lad mates. As he’s had a little longer in the world, he’ll probably dress a little better than the average boy or alternatively resemble the likes of Jeremy Corbyn in his pre-suits phase.

The BNOC beauty

You see him everywhere so it’s kinda hard to get him out of your head, let alone your line of sight. He dresses well, clearly making regular trips to Northern Quarter to update his impressive wardrobe and has mastered the laissez-faire approach to male grooming that Manchester girls have resentfully grown to love. It’s never easy to guess what these specimens study as they’re often more dedicated to their looks than the books.

The skater boy

Often spotted outside Whitworth Gallery filming his boys or doing 360s, this guy is a pretty peaceful dude. Rocking the oversized tee, baggy jeans and cap, with unruly hair and a few manly skating scars this boy doesn’t care much for fashion but looks good all the same. He’s likely a bit a bit of a hippy at heart, loves animals and would be a pretty devoted boyfriend. Sadly we all know that  Avril Lavigne’s ‘Sk8er Boi’ isn’t a reality.

The in-denial klepto

Only identifiable in the case of a prolonged dating period, there are a surprising amount of guys who boast a number of illicitly obtained articles in their bedroom. Whether they stole them from someone’s tent at a festival or simply forgot to pay at Saino’s, maybe he’ll pinch you something fancy if you ask nicely.

The well-meaning one

These are the ones you often underestimate, not dashingly handsome but good looking, not mind boggling clever but intelligent, not the life and soul of the party but never the first to leave. You’ll likely not appreciate this guy until he’s gone. He probably studies a humanities subject, maybe a language, English literature or History.

The one who came to Manchester and bought an entirely new wardrobe

Yeah he’s wearing all the finest vintage Manchester has to offer but he’s still not got to grips with it yet. What’s more, you could have sworn he was wearing some rather clunky glasses in Fresher’s week but you’ve not seen them since. He’s trying to grow a beard too, despite the fact he’s not got much hope of cultivating decent facial hair.

The undercover geek

Once you get to university, you soon learn there’s no shame in being a bit of a brain box, as long as you’re not a show off too. However, there are certain subjects which will ensue a little more teasing than others: Geology and Physics for example. Like the well-meaning guy, he’s reasonably well dressed but should you find him in the library he might slyly try to cover his incriminating text books.

The “did you know I gym?” guy

You’ve got to give it to him, those are some pretty impressive muscles peeping out from under his tee. These boys can generally be found to study more stereotypically male subjects but you’d be foolish not o believe that commitment to gains is limited to the straight thinkers. Typically, they may occasionally resemble the jock, but don’t be surprised if you see him in some more fashionable and suitably muscle revealing numbers every now and then. At best he’ll be able to take some good banter, at worst the steroids will have made this gym huff one angry boy.

The aspiring photographer

His walls are plastered with photos and you’ll often find him wandering around with camera in hand, prepped and ready for his next shot. As a creative, he’s fashion conscious but not pretty and preened. Not overly invested in his studies, he’ll probably study Criminology or Geography.

The Liam Gallagher wannabe

This guy thinks he’s the bee’s knees, but in reality he’s probably a bit of a prick. Skinny jeans, plenty of ‘masculine’ jewellery, flash shoes and a smarmy look on his face are standard for this character. He probably studies Politics or maybe even Philosophy, which apparently gives him the right to look down his nose at supposedly inferior subjects.